Weekend started off without a focus or plan, until Thursday around noon. I got word the local USO was distributing free Kid Rock tickets and all I needed to do was call. So, call I did and secured two for Mandy and me. Triah, Drewsuf, TJ, Melissa and Casey all jumped on the phone right after me and threw down on the free tix. The show was scheduled to start at 8pm friday and was supposed to be three hours long. 5:30 pm Friday we started the trek to the RBC Center Raleigh, NC to take part in KidFest. Shameless plug for Best Western on Capital Blvd in Raleigh, more specifically; John the Front Desk guy who was gracious enough to move us to a bigger room with two queen-sized beds whilst still maintaining our fantastic $59.99, government/internet rate.
The show was amazing. We had the aforementioned free tickets and the stigma surrounding 'free' is synonymous with 'crappy'. These tickets were perfect. I could've if compelled, literally whip a baseball at Kid Rock. Not to mention we had our own concession area with exclusive access to bathrooms and the pretzel stand. $10 beers...but they were good beers. Sapporo was my beer of choice for this musical adventure and boy was it delicious. Light and flavorful. The show was everything you'd want to be, every Kid Rock Song I wanted to hear was played, including his entire new album:Rock and Roll jesus.
After the three hours of Rocking the Kid we ended up at Perkins for post-concert pancakes. Before I finish this story I'm going to hit on another topic. The restaurant was on a street called Yonkers Road. Yonkers sounds similar to something pertaining to ejaculate. So everything from then on was yonkered on or of or partaining to yonker. So, we ended up at Perkins eating things that reminded us of yonker. The butter was yonker, the runny eggs were yonker, everything was yonker or yonkered.
Thanks for reading.
-WP
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JOHN! JOOOHN! WOOO! JOHN BON! JOHN BON JOVI! AAOWW! WOOO! First of all, this is a big story, dude. Read the papes! This thing is huge! Basically, what happened: the authour of this here blog, Phat Matt, went for a kick-ass concert on the sly...and this BITCH hotel, Best Western, totally cockblocked him! Simple as that!
Now, his good bro, John the Front Desk guy, they were in the same pledge class, he got arrested for rape, they used to call him Hambone. HAMBONE! CHECK IT OUT! HAMBONE! Anyway, the papers called him "Two twin bed rapist." He was clockblocked by some bitch. Best Western is a bitch, Kid Rock's a bitch, but John Bon's cool 'cause he's out looking for a BJ! Give it up, John! AAOWW! JOHN! Jon Bon...livin' on a prayer! JOHNNY! AAOWW!
Anyway, Johnny broy...he broke rule numero uno: do not dip your pen in the company ink! Am I right? AOW! Dude, I remember this bro, Douche Doug Douche, he was the COOLEST! You don't even KNOW! He was the COOLEST! Anyway, we were having this slave auction fundraiser, and we're all...we're all out on the party porch...and, uh...[starts to get choked up] and there were way too many people out there, and...the porch gave way, and...Douche fell...and he hit his head on the ground, but...but it's cool...they got him a van with a ramp that he drives with his teeth now, so...[sings] in your eyes, the light's a heat in your eyes, I am complete! [back to normal] He loved that song! He loved that song! John!
That's what I'm talkin' about with this Front Desk job thing! You are the coolest, John! You are the man! Give it up for John the front desk guy! Give it up! Stand up in your chairs! I'm out!
Dude...my brain is shit...right now. That just happened.
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