Oktoberfest-Munich, Germany

Every September in Munich, Germany people from all over the world descend on Munich with a deep thirst and an insatiable hunger. The hunger is for traditional German fare and the thirst is for an amber colored beverage the German’s have perfected over the last couple hundred years; beer – by the liter.

This year marked the 200^th Oktoberfest so it was a particularly special adventure and an immediate and unyielding immersion into German culture.

Admission, to this beer-fueled wonderland is free, but expect to pay to play because the beer comes in a two and a half pound stein filled to the brim, wielded by a dirndl wearing waitress with forearms like a lumberjack and a face as sweet as Christmas morning. Prepare to shell out 9euro a pop for a brewski.

Getting into one of the many massive beer halls is a trial, considering there are about 30 and they each hold upwards of 1,000 people. All of these beer-swillers are sitting on benches at tables and the wait-staff is bustling through the narrow channels between tables. Every hall is different but they all had bands, the locations of which varied. Some were situated dead center of the action, some were right inside the door and yet others set up shop in the corner. These bands play a type of German folk, similar to Polka and they lead the crowd in rousing drinking song after rousing drinking song. Some of the songs have hand motions that usually result in everyone standing on the benches with arms interlocked swaying in time with the high-tempo Polka-esque tunes.

It’s easy to say the beer halls are the nucleus of the celebration, but there are tons of booths set up much like a county or state fair in the United States where merchants peddle souvenirs, food and cigarettes. One of the best ways to gain perspective on Oktoberfest is to hop on the ferris wheel and survey the area from the top. The ferris wheel is one of dozens of rides available for a small fee.

Food options revolve around bratwurst, sauerkraut, bröchten and fries. Bröchten are German rolls they’ve managed to include in almost every meal so long as the ingredients change.

Those who don’t prefer traditional German food aren’t forgotten with roast chicken, pasta dishes and potato dishes served in the beer halls.

Most of the sponsors are beer and food companies ranging from Paulaner, Hofenbrau, Heinz' Sausage and Chicken Grill, and Löwenbräu to name a few.

Oktoberfest is definitely a must do on a trip to Germany or Europe for more information go to http://www.oktoberfest.de/en/navitem/About+the+Oktoberfest/. It’s a good idea to pay a little bit extra to reserve a spot at a table in a couple different beer halls.

Where Have All The Men Gone?

I feel obligated to clarify that as ghey as the title seems, it's really more of a disappointed sentiment for/from all of my lady friends out there.

It's at sad day when the Old Spice guy and the Dos Eqius guy are jokes and not something to aspire to for men these days. Nothing is manlier than some of the commercials where Isaiah Mustafa and Jonathan Goldsmith talk of doing manly things with and to women.

I've many friends both men-types and women-types and I have to say my lady friends are becoming much more ballsy than my man friends.

To protect their already dwindling self-image and their rapidly receding testiclese. I remember frankly when man-folk of my age were more worried about receding hairlines...and what's worse is how my contemporaries are being viewed by the women of today.

We are living in a world where women are sacking-up and completely decimating they egos and mental fortitude of men.

As a man's man, myself this does nothing for my self-esteem or mental wellbeing, because I like feisty women. That's why I married my wife.

Anyone who knows me would also know that my humor and social situation thrives on feisty people.

I will revisit this topic when I'm done doing my research.

In the meantime visit Youtube and check out the Old Spice and Dos Equis commercials and start manning up. (My male readers of course, if you'd been reading with any kind of comprehension you'd know the women are already manly enough...)

Thanks for reading,

WP

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I got to thinking after I posted this post: I think most of my findings will conclude that men these days are slow to appreciate more assertive women...more to come...

It's Been Too Long, But My Love For You Has Only Grown

You guys...Aren't going to believe what I'm about to tell you.

I'm moving to Europe. Yup. Germany more specifically. I'll be there for 3 years.

What does this mean for you, delightful reader? A ton more items to read, compliments of my globe-trotting.

A quick recap of what you missed because I neglected to tell you:

June 25, exactly 26 years ago when God in His infinite Godness, decided to grace the world with me...I was born. I celebrated but tying one on at the Brew Bern Beerfest sponsored by the one and only: Beer Army. Beer Army are a great group of folks who's sole purpose is to empower beer drinkers everywhere.

A sampling from their webpage:

Our mission is to cultivate the appreciation and recognition of quality beer. Our intent is to educate the public. Our battle is to fight what some ignorant people may imply we stand for and destroy the negative stigmas associated with having a beer while socializing with friends and family.

We are a legion of beer enthusiast who enjoys making, consuming, and hanging out with a brew in our hand. To those who agree with this ideology, welcome, to those who don’t, piss off!

Like I said, great folks.

Today my beautiful bride turns 23 for the 3rd time and we're all very excited...she doesn't look a day older than 28.

I have a couple of more stories but because I'm not password protected anymore...I hesitate to share them here.

I'll be travelling for the next couple of weeks. Stay Tuned.

Thanks for reading,

WP

Huge Balls...Really Huge Balls

April 22, 2010 a local Sneads Ferry resident girded his loins and decided that around 2 a.m. was a great time to kick in my front door.

Here's how it played out, a crash rang through my house waking me and the wife up instantly. We woke up to pitch darkness and Mandy whispered, "It's ok. The key rack near the front door just fell..." No sooner had those words left her lips than our stair light turned on..."...and hit the light switch," she added. There was a rustling downstairs and the stair light turned on and off four or five times.

Pardon my the following language: "You've got to be fucking kidding me, there's someone in our house...it's not the fucking key holder."

I jumped up, threw on some jeans, grabbed my shotgun and jammed a handful of 12 gauge shells into my back pocket and dashed to the stairs.

Two things happened at this point; the jack-off realized he had the wrong house or he heard my shotty.

My shotgun is a break-action 12 gauge, when inserting a shell and closing the breech there is a quite audible, 'business' click.

When I got about two steps from the top of my stairs I heard the door slam and it was over...

The whole time I'm thinking I hope this guy doesn't come back because I'm not excited about shooting someone in my living room with a 12 gauge...

He didn't come back and we called 911. Sneads Ferry isn't incorporated so we don't have our own police, EMS or fire department. We're at the mercy of the county sheriff's response time. Fortunately for us the deputy was sitting at the Subway down the road and the North Topsail police officer was at the end of our road. They were there here in about three minutes.

They walked around the house and asked us what happened and I recounted the events that had transpired only 10 or 15 minutes prior. They checked out the door and we couldn't find any visible footprints from it getting kicked in, or trauma to the door whatsoever. There weren't any footprints or disturbances to anything in the yard. It was all very strange.

They called the CSI van out from Jacksonville, when it pulled up Grissom didn't jump out with that hot, gap-toothed chick. Instead it was a short, stocky, flat-top wearing, groggy deputy who sauntered up to my house, spitting every couple of steps.

He got half-way up my walk and turned around and exclaimed to the other deputy, "See, you guys can't do anything without me. Ha Ha Ha."

I started poking around in the yard and front porch with his flashlight. He looked at the door-jam and the door.

"He definitely used something to flex the door before shouldering it in. Probably a screwdriver or something..." surmised the deputy.

He took some photos, using a yard stick for scale and got stuff to dust the light panel and door knob.

"This guy knew what he was doing, these prints are pretty small, probably your wife. I'm guessing he had gloves on..."

By about 4 a.m. everyone had cleared out and I was left with the task of screwing my door-jam back together in order to close and lock our door. It was ugly but from the outside you couldn't tell someone had kicked it in.

A special thanks to my in-laws for letting us crash at their house that night and get some good sleep.

This event has opened my eyes to how vital it is for American's to own weapons. I'm positive if I had a handgun they would've had a blood trail to follow, but because I had to grab shells and my shotty, that bastard got away. I'm soon to be the proud owner of a beautiful Sig Sauer P226.

So yeah...eventful week. Be safe out there. I'll field any questions if you all have them.

Thanks for reading.

love,

WP

Happy February 2010

I'm sorry for the lapse in posts. I've been extremely busy. I'll make it up to you...I promise.

-WP

When You Think Your Family Looks Sponsored by Snap-on...

I looked like such a nerd last night. I was up until almost 2 a.m. running scans on the wiffle's work laptop, surfing around on another laptop and checking out twitter updates on my Blackberry.

During my interweb adventure I found this gem: Family Photos. I grew up in a huge family as the oldest of ten kids and we did some pretty goofy stuff. In retrospect all of those events, photos and family-get-together-traditions that seemed like the end of the Earth, pale in comparison to the majority of these photos.

They span the gamut of crazy. Family photos in matching sweaters is tame compared to the family of mullets, posing in the nude with the family cats and a host of other ideas that seemed revolutionary at the time.

Check it out, you can thank me later.

-WP

A small taste:

The Invisible Twister Pose...

Catface...He's Got a Big Cat's Face...He's Got the Body of a Cat and the Face of a Cat...

I was sent to weebls-stuff by a friend to watch a particular video, my readership as a whole probably wouldn't be too keen on.

While I was there I stumbled upon Catface.

This oblong-headed, floating cat with a European accent has 17 webisodes where he and his sidekick, Boxcat get involved in cheeky shenanigans.

Without blowing the plots of any of the shows, I offer this warning - the theme song is CATchy and will prove to be quite difficult to forget.

Happy watching,

WP

For The Ladies...From The Guys...A Text Poem...

Iam a poet. I used to be more of a poet than I am now, but sometimes I'll be hit with a stroke of brilliance and flair that gets the job done.


This is more for the guys...if you are a chick reading this, then you're jipping yourself out of a tender time.

I jumped in my car the other day really loving my wiffle. I decided to tell her through a series of text messages.

Here they are:

Txt 1: How do I love you, let me count the ways...

Txt 2: Your smile that's always for me. Brightening my day and permeating my dreams...

Txt 3: Your body that provides me endless joy...

Txt 4: Your presence in my life giving meaning to my existence and reason to everything I do...

Txt 5: You are my wife, my life and my best friend. Thank you for everything you do...

The reasoning behind this post is two-fold. 1) I'm awesome, sensitive and God's gift to women. 2) You guys need to make your ladies feel special...why not use the technology you use everyday?

Take it, run with it.

Thanks for reading,
WP