BlockThat!

Oktoberfest-Munich, Germany

2010-10-01T14:20:00.005-05:00

Every September in Munich, Germany people from all over the world descend on Munich with a deep thirst and an insatiable hunger. The hunger is for traditional German fare and the thirst is for an amber colored beverage the German’s have perfected over the last couple hundred years; beer – by the liter.

This year marked the 200^th Oktoberfest so it was a particularly special adventure and an immediate and unyielding immersion into German culture.

Admission, to this beer-fueled wonderland is free, but expect to pay to play because the beer comes in a two and a half pound stein filled to the brim, wielded by a dirndl wearing waitress with forearms like a lumberjack and a face as sweet as Christmas morning. Prepare to shell out 9euro a pop for a brewski.

Getting into one of the many massive beer halls is a trial, considering there are about 30 and they each hold upwards of 1,000 people. All of these beer-swillers are sitting on benches at tables and the wait-staff is bustling through the narrow channels between tables. Every hall is different but they all had bands, the locations of which varied. Some were situated dead center of the action, some were right inside the door and yet others set up shop in the corner. These bands play a type of German folk, similar to Polka and they lead the crowd in rousing drinking song after rousing drinking song. Some of the songs have hand motions that usually result in everyone standing on the benches with arms interlocked swaying in time with the high-tempo Polka-esque tunes.

It’s easy to say the beer halls are the nucleus of the celebration, but there are tons of booths set up much like a county or state fair in the United States where merchants peddle souvenirs, food and cigarettes. One of the best ways to gain perspective on Oktoberfest is to hop on the ferris wheel and survey the area from the top. The ferris wheel is one of dozens of rides available for a small fee.

Food options revolve around bratwurst, sauerkraut, bröchten and fries. Bröchten are German rolls they’ve managed to include in almost every meal so long as the ingredients change.

Those who don’t prefer traditional German food aren’t forgotten with roast chicken, pasta dishes and potato dishes served in the beer halls.

Most of the sponsors are beer and food companies ranging from Paulaner, Hofenbrau, Heinz' Sausage and Chicken Grill, and Löwenbräu to name a few.

Oktoberfest is definitely a must do on a trip to Germany or Europe for more information go to http://www.oktoberfest.de/en/navitem/About+the+Oktoberfest/. It’s a good idea to pay a little bit extra to reserve a spot at a table in a couple different beer halls.

Where Have All The Men Gone?

2010-08-04T18:44:00.003-05:00

I feel obligated to clarify that as ghey as the title seems, it's really more of a disappointed sentiment for/from all of my lady friends out there.

It's at sad day when the Old Spice guy and the Dos Eqius guy are jokes and not something to aspire to for men these days. Nothing is manlier than some of the commercials where Isaiah Mustafa and Jonathan Goldsmith talk of doing manly things with and to women.

I've many friends both men-types and women-types and I have to say my lady friends are becoming much more ballsy than my man friends.

To protect their already dwindling self-image and their rapidly receding testiclese. I remember frankly when man-folk of my age were more worried about receding hairlines...and what's worse is how my contemporaries are being viewed by the women of today.

We are living in a world where women are sacking-up and completely decimating they egos and mental fortitude of men.

As a man's man, myself this does nothing for my self-esteem or mental wellbeing, because I like feisty women. That's why I married my wife.

Anyone who knows me would also know that my humor and social situation thrives on feisty people.

I will revisit this topic when I'm done doing my research.

In the meantime visit Youtube and check out the Old Spice and Dos Equis commercials and start manning up. (My male readers of course, if you'd been reading with any kind of comprehension you'd know the women are already manly enough...)

Thanks for reading,

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I got to thinking after I posted this post: I think most of my findings will conclude that men these days are slow to appreciate more assertive women...more to come...

It's Been Too Long, But My Love For You Has Only Grown

2010-07-14T09:52:00.003-05:00

You guys...Aren't going to believe what I'm about to tell you.

I'm moving to Europe. Yup. Germany more specifically. I'll be there for 3 years.

What does this mean for you, delightful reader? A ton more items to read, compliments of my globe-trotting.

A quick recap of what you missed because I neglected to tell you:

June 25, exactly 26 years ago when God in His infinite Godness, decided to grace the world with me...I was born. I celebrated but tying one on at the Brew Bern Beerfest sponsored by the one and only: Beer Army. Beer Army are a great group of folks who's sole purpose is to empower beer drinkers everywhere.

A sampling from their webpage:

Our mission is to cultivate the appreciation and recognition of quality beer. Our intent is to educate the public. Our battle is to fight what some ignorant people may imply we stand for and destroy the negative stigmas associated with having a beer while socializing with friends and family.

We are a legion of beer enthusiast who enjoys making, consuming, and hanging out with a brew in our hand. To those who agree with this ideology, welcome, to those who don’t, piss off!

Like I said, great folks.

Today my beautiful bride turns 23 for the 3rd time and we're all very excited...she doesn't look a day older than 28.

I have a couple of more stories but because I'm not password protected anymore...I hesitate to share them here.

I'll be travelling for the next couple of weeks. Stay Tuned.

Thanks for reading,

Huge Balls...Really Huge Balls

2010-04-25T10:55:00.003-05:00

April 22, 2010 a local Sneads Ferry resident girded his loins and decided that around 2 a.m. was a great time to kick in my front door.

Here's how it played out, a crash rang through my house waking me and the wife up instantly. We woke up to pitch darkness and Mandy whispered, "It's ok. The key rack near the front door just fell..." No sooner had those words left her lips than our stair light turned on..."...and hit the light switch," she added. There was a rustling downstairs and the stair light turned on and off four or five times.

Pardon my the following language: "You've got to be fucking kidding me, there's someone in our house...it's not the fucking key holder."

I jumped up, threw on some jeans, grabbed my shotgun and jammed a handful of 12 gauge shells into my back pocket and dashed to the stairs.

Two things happened at this point; the jack-off realized he had the wrong house or he heard my shotty.

My shotgun is a break-action 12 gauge, when inserting a shell and closing the breech there is a quite audible, 'business' click.

When I got about two steps from the top of my stairs I heard the door slam and it was over...

The whole time I'm thinking I hope this guy doesn't come back because I'm not excited about shooting someone in my living room with a 12 gauge...

He didn't come back and we called 911. Sneads Ferry isn't incorporated so we don't have our own police, EMS or fire department. We're at the mercy of the county sheriff's response time. Fortunately for us the deputy was sitting at the Subway down the road and the North Topsail police officer was at the end of our road. They were there here in about three minutes.

They walked around the house and asked us what happened and I recounted the events that had transpired only 10 or 15 minutes prior. They checked out the door and we couldn't find any visible footprints from it getting kicked in, or trauma to the door whatsoever. There weren't any footprints or disturbances to anything in the yard. It was all very strange.

They called the CSI van out from Jacksonville, when it pulled up Grissom didn't jump out with that hot, gap-toothed chick. Instead it was a short, stocky, flat-top wearing, groggy deputy who sauntered up to my house, spitting every couple of steps.

He got half-way up my walk and turned around and exclaimed to the other deputy, "See, you guys can't do anything without me. Ha Ha Ha."

I started poking around in the yard and front porch with his flashlight. He looked at the door-jam and the door.

"He definitely used something to flex the door before shouldering it in. Probably a screwdriver or something..." surmised the deputy.

He took some photos, using a yard stick for scale and got stuff to dust the light panel and door knob.

"This guy knew what he was doing, these prints are pretty small, probably your wife. I'm guessing he had gloves on..."

By about 4 a.m. everyone had cleared out and I was left with the task of screwing my door-jam back together in order to close and lock our door. It was ugly but from the outside you couldn't tell someone had kicked it in.

A special thanks to my in-laws for letting us crash at their house that night and get some good sleep.

This event has opened my eyes to how vital it is for American's to own weapons. I'm positive if I had a handgun they would've had a blood trail to follow, but because I had to grab shells and my shotty, that bastard got away. I'm soon to be the proud owner of a beautiful Sig Sauer P226.

So yeah...eventful week. Be safe out there. I'll field any questions if you all have them.

Thanks for reading.

love,

Happy February 2010

2010-02-03T06:15:00.001-05:00

I'm sorry for the lapse in posts. I've been extremely busy. I'll make it up to you...I promise.

-WP

When You Think Your Family Looks Sponsored by Snap-on...

2009-11-18T12:54:00.002-05:00

I looked like such a nerd last night. I was up until almost 2 a.m. running scans on the wiffle's work laptop, surfing around on another laptop and checking out twitter updates on my Blackberry.

During my interweb adventure I found this gem: Family Photos. I grew up in a huge family as the oldest of ten kids and we did some pretty goofy stuff. In retrospect all of those events, photos and family-get-together-traditions that seemed like the end of the Earth, pale in comparison to the majority of these photos.

They span the gamut of crazy. Family photos in matching sweaters is tame compared to the family of mullets, posing in the nude with the family cats and a host of other ideas that seemed revolutionary at the time.

Check it out, you can thank me later.

-WP

A small taste:

The Invisible Twister Pose...

Catface...He's Got a Big Cat's Face...He's Got the Body of a Cat and the Face of a Cat...

2009-11-18T12:40:00.004-05:00

I was sent to weebls-stuff by a friend to watch a particular video, my readership as a whole probably wouldn't be too keen on.

While I was there I stumbled upon Catface.

This oblong-headed, floating cat with a European accent has 17 webisodes where he and his sidekick, Boxcat get involved in cheeky shenanigans.

Without blowing the plots of any of the shows, I offer this warning - the theme song is CATchy and will prove to be quite difficult to forget.

Happy watching,

For The Ladies...From The Guys...A Text Poem...

2009-10-13T11:39:00.004-05:00

Iam a poet. I used to be more of a poet than I am now, but sometimes I'll be hit with a stroke of brilliance and flair that gets the job done.

This is more for the guys...if you are a chick reading this, then you're jipping yourself out of a tender time.

I jumped in my car the other day really loving my wiffle. I decided to tell her through a series of text messages.

Here they are:

Txt 1: How do I love you, let me count the ways...

Txt 2: Your smile that's always for me. Brightening my day and permeating my dreams...

Txt 3: Your body that provides me endless joy...

Txt 4: Your presence in my life giving meaning to my existence and reason to everything I do...

Txt 5: You are my wife, my life and my best friend. Thank you for everything you do...

The reasoning behind this post is two-fold. 1) I'm awesome, sensitive and God's gift to women. 2) You guys need to make your ladies feel special...why not use the technology you use everyday?

Take it, run with it.

Thanks for reading,
WP

2009-10-03T07:31:00.001-05:00

We're mobile now.

A Year Down...Marriage is Exactly What I Hoped It Would Be.

2009-09-26T09:58:00.005-05:00

Greetings all!

I've been busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest...

I celebrated my one year wedding anniversary on the 20th of this month and am just now getting around to talking to you about it.

I started planning our little get-away about a month out. I decided that in order to save money I would keep us close. So, I started researching hotels, events, places of interest, etc...

Mandy and I have different interests, which was one of the first things I realized about our marriage- I've actually been paying attention to her wants and needs. Ha ha. But, really.

The first part of her celebration was an hour long deep-tissue massage at The Power of Touch in Jacksonville, NC. The staff there is fantastic and accommodating. They typically close up shop for lunch at 1 p.m., but stayed open later so I could stop by and pay for Mandy's massage so all she had to do was show up and relax.

I settled on the Hilton Riverside in Wilmington, NC. This hotel overlooks the inter coastal water way, the Martin Luther King Jr. Bridge and the majestic USS North Carolina, the decommissioned battleship that bears this great state's name.

The Riverview is a block from Front St. the epicenter of downtown/historic Wilmington and a place the wiffle and I frequent often. There are a ton of bars and little boutiques to pass the time in on a beautiful weekend. The main advantage of this location is 1) we could both drink and stumble back to the room, 2) during the day we didn't need to drive anywhere, just walk to all the shops and eateries.

Here is a cheat sheet to a couple of our favorite places in the downtown.

Cape Fear Beer and Wine

Rum Runners-Dueling Piano Bar

The Front Street Brewery

Back to our room-the rooms are typically $275.00 a night for a king suite. I made the reservation online with my military ID and had a reservation for a room for $93. I was pretty excited about that, but the fine print snuck up on me, the actual room was to be determined upon our arrival to the hotel. Which wasn't a big deal, but it's our anniversary. Not just any room is going to work.

I called the day prior to our check-in and asked the nice lady at the front desk what I would have to do to guarantee we would check-in to a no kidding river-view king suite. I did mention it was our first anniversary, she found my reservation and told me that for $10 bucks she'd give me the room we got. So, for $103 we rolled into a $275 room.

Our dinner was a bit of an ordeal, because I wanted to take her to a sweet place, with nice ambiance and a place we hadn't been before. I shopped around online until I found The Oceanic .

This place was awesome! It's three stories tall, situated at the very tip of Wrightsville Beach. They have a pier that juts out into the ocean and sits a good number of people. A bar is positioned at the end of the pier right out on the water. It's such a beautiful area. I'm going to recommend the Mahi Mahi, blackened with Cajun spices. But, get whatever you want...

It might not look like this is that spectacular of a plan. It's easy to see it worked out pretty well, but I did it all for less than 3 bills. But, the money is only a perk. The real reason it was an awesome weekend was because we are both really busy people. I've got school 4 days a week, plus work, Mandy has work and the gym in the afternoon, I've been getting up at 5 a.m. and going to the gym. We see each other for seconds in the morning and then a couple of 'I love you' text messages throughout the day until about 9 p.m. By then we're pooped. We cook dinner, hit the hay at around 10 or 11p.m. That's Monday-Thursday. Heavy.

I molded this weekend around relaxation and enjoying sometime together. When we checked into our hotel we put our stuff up and walked around downtown, bought some cigars and had a beer and enjoyed being married. We walked along the boardwalk talking, laughing, smoking and meandered back to the hotel. We jumped into the shower CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED.

You're welcome. WINK*

The rest of the events are boring to you...yup...I'm making that call.

I want to mention a couple of things I've learned after having been married now, for a year.

1) It's refreshing to be in love with my best friend.

2) None of the insecurities that plague bf/gf relationships are an issue now.

3) Mandy is smarter than me and I'm ok with that.

4) Mandy is afraid of common sense. I ok with that too, because it makes me feel smarter sometimes.

5) Our future is uncertain and that's fine because it's our future together.

6) Selfishness kills marriages. I'll give you a guess why our's is ok...yup. No Selfishness.

Good luck to the married folk reading this. To the men- always put her first. To the ladies- always put him first.

Thanks for Reading,

P.S. There are a ton of links in this post. Feel free to use them. You're welcome.

George Sodini Was a Basketcase...He Did Humanity a Favor by Offing Himself...The Women He Shot Didn't Deserve it...

2009-08-06T08:36:00.005-05:00

I was directed to the blog/journal of George Sodini by a co-worker. I had heard about the event, but didn't do much research. I wrote it off as another wack-job who didn't have the gumption to make something out of himself and decided to exact his anger through shooting innocent women, who were just working out. Turns out I was right and nothing supported it more than reading his blog. http://georgesodini.com/20090804.htm. This is a tormented man.

Give the blog a read.

The biggest lesson I think we can glean from this is to pay attention to your friends. Just because they can project a confident, happy-go-lucky demeanor doesn't mean everything is ok. This guy seemed good at his job, in pretty good shape for his age, he was trying to improve his quality of life with seemingly good habits...

He needed a friend. Don't get me wrong, I'm not making him a martyr. I think he's a lunatic and should've been talking to a shrink. You'll notice a trend though, throughout his blog...he never owns his inadequacies. He never takes any responsibility for his actions or his short-comings. He blames his brother, jackass co-workers, his mom, job and it goes on and on and on...

My families prayers and best wishes go out to the families of the women who were unfairly robbed of their loved ones.

Thanks for reading,

WP

When Your Marriage/Coupling Reaches That "Too Familiar Stage"

2009-08-05T18:47:00.008-05:00

Welcome, to a long overdue musing.

I'm throwing this nugget out there to help the wayward man muddle through his relationships. I've touched on this before in previous posts, but now it holds special meaning because I've almost been married for a year.

When asked by my waxing lady,"What's the secret to a good marriage?"

"Sh*t, that's a good one...," I pondered a bit. "Honesty, communication...don't screw before you get married so you actually get to know your potential husband or wife..."

"That sounds like pretty go advice," she thanked me.

I got to thinking in the shower, just now, those are important but not nearly as important as having ZERO expectations. I can see the scrunched up faces of women reading this just as clearly as I see the men's inquisitive ones.

Really! Keep them at zero and everything your spouse does will be a gesture of love and affection.

I expect nothing more from my wife than faithfulness and love. I don't expect her to cook my dinner, fold my clothes, match my socks or any other mundane household chore. I don't wake up expecting a fresh pot of coffee, a prepared lunch or my gym bag packed.

I'm a self-sufficient man.

I'll do my laundry how I like, I can cook like a champ and I'm up in the morning with a start! If I were to wait for the wiffle to wake up, I'd be three hours late to work every morning.

There is an inverse to this scenario: when my wife does my laundry, I thank her, I appreciate it when she packs a lunch or cooks dinner...etc.

This goes both ways, ladies. I can feel every punch in the arm you give your hubby or boyfriend as you read the first part.

How about not expecting us to do things around the house...? I married my wife not my mom. I don't expect a chore list when I wake up in the morning. The chores-before-you-play scenario went out the window with the rock music embargo I grew up with. All moms have qualities we want in our wives. My mother is very intelligent as is my wife. She's loving and caring, again, so is my wife. My mother is an attractive women, my wife is smokin' hot. My mother at one point dictated my very existence, my wife wasn't given that power.

Imagine how much you'd appreciate the laundry your man does, mixed darks and lights and all. (Tide Coldwater) Imagine how much more willing he'd be to do little things around the house if you didn't get pissy when they didn't get done? If you didn't expect him to do it and it got done...BAM! Party sex. Word.

Dudes, my last point is only in play if YOU ACTUALLY DO THINGS AROUND THE HOUSE! You can't pick and choose your way through this advice. Take it one. Take it all.

Ladies, remember when the stuff gets done, too. I took it upon myself to clean our bathrooms this past weekend...from floor to ceiling...or ceiling to floor. I'm going to call that by this weekend I'm going to be accused of not pulling my weight around the house. Not cool.

This theory can apply to anything -- smoking, don't expect them to quit. Voice your concern, offer assistance and walk away. Then you'll find yourself not mad months down the road after they don't quit and how happy you'll be if they do.

Weight-loss is another hard one for either side of the relationship. Don't expect them to have the discipline to do anything about it. It isn't an issue. Then if they stay the same...you still love them...if they lose it...you love them in dirty ways in public places...

These are just a few examples and I'm only dispensing this advice to two married people or well established couples. This advice is for the relationship that starts to get nit-picky as it ages...the relationship that's just as sweet as day one but with fewer secrets and more shared memories.

This is the advice that saves marriages because when this method is employed it gives way to less bickering and more loving.

Love the one you're with, for who they are. I'm not advocating infidelity or anything extreme. This is for the day-to-day.

I know you work full-time. Remember I do, too. I love you more than anything. Remind me you do, too.

Chicas, ease up. Dudes, put out as much for housework as you do in the sack. Chicas again, with less housework to do there's more time to vaca in O-Town.

Thanks for reading,

Operation WULF

2009-06-15T09:48:00.003-05:00

A fun little bit of Law Enforcement action in Arizona...
TUCSON, Ariz. — Drunken Arizona drivers with the late-night munchies may soon be getting more than chicken strips at drive-through windows.
The Pima County Sheriff's Department has a new campaign targeting drunken driving. Operation Would U Like Fries, or Operation WULF, will put undercover deputies inside 24-hour fast-food restaurants to spot impaired drivers placing their orders.
Sgt. Doug Hanna, a DUI unit supervisor, says if deputies notice someone with classic symptoms of impairment — slurred speech, red or watery eyes or beer breath — they will have a uniformed deputy stationed outside pull the driver over.
Hanna says money for the intermittent program is coming from a $128,000 grant from the Governor's Office of Highway Safety.

A Bit Late for Memorial Day...But I Was Out of Town....

2009-05-31T08:22:00.003-05:00

I didn't write this I found it on a buddies blog. I'm sure some of you might have already received this is a chain letter. Please enjoy this and remember to pray for our men and women in harms way while we're at home reading about them on the internet.

The average age of the military man is 19 years. He is a short haired, tight-muscled kid who, under normal circumstances is considered by society as half man, half boy. Not yet dry behind the ears, not old enough to buy a beer, but ol

d enough to die for his country. He never really cared much for work and he would rather wax his own car than wash his father's, but he has never collected unemployment either.

He's a recent High School graduate; he was probably an average student, pursued some form of sport activities, drives a ten year old jalopy, and has a steady girlfriend that either broke up with him when he left, or swears to be waiting when he returns from half a world away. He listens to rock and roll or hip-hop or rap or jazz or swing and a 155mm howitzer.

He is 10 or 15 pounds lighter now than when he was at home because he is working or fighting from before dawn to well after dusk. He has trouble spelling, thus letter writing is a pain for him, but he can field strip a rifle in 30 seconds and reassemble it in less time in the dark. He can recite to you the nomenclature of a machine gun or grenade launcher and use either one effectively if he must.He digs foxholes and latrines and can apply first aid like a professional.

He can march until he is told to stop, or stop until he is told to march.
He obeys orders instantly and without hesitation, but he is not without spirit or individual dignity. He is self-sufficient.

He has two sets of fatigues: he washes one and wears the other. He keeps his canteens full and his feet dry. He sometimes forgets to brush his teeth, but never forgets to clean his rifle. He can cook his own meals, mend his own clothes, and fix his own hurts.

If you're thirsty, he'll share his water with you; if you are hungry, his food. He'll even split his ammunition with you in the midst of battle when you run low.
He has learned to use his hands like weapons and weapons like they were his hands.He can save your life - or take it, because that is his job. He will often do twice the work of a civilian, draw half the pay, and still find ironic humor in it all.
He has seen more suffering and death than he should have in his short lifetime.
He has wept in public and in private, for friends who have fallen in combat and is unashamed.
He feels every note of the National Anthem vibrate through his body while at rigid attention, while tempering the burning desire to 'square-away ' those around him who haven't bothered to stand, remove their hat, or even stop talking.In an odd twist, day in and day out, far from home, he defends their right to be disrespectful.
Just as did his Father, Grandfather, and Great-grandfather, he is paying the price for our freedom. Beardless or not, he is not a boy. He is the American Fighting M an that has kept this country free for over 200 years!He has asked nothing in return, except our friendship and understanding. Remember him, always, for he has earned our respect and admiration with his blood.
And now we even have women over there in danger, doing their part in this tradition of going to War when our nation calls us to do so.
As you go to bed tonight, remember

this shot. . .
A short lull, a little shade and a picture of loved ones in their helmets.
Prayer wheel for our military... please don't break it Please send this on after a short prayer.
Prayer Wheel'Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need. Amen.'
When you receive this, please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our ground troops in Afghanistan , sailors on ships, and airmen in the air, and for those in Iraq , Afg

hanistan all foreign countries and those who are supporting stateside as well.
There is nothing attached... This can be very powerful...
Of all the gifts you could give a US Soldier, Sailor, Coastguardsman, Marine, or Airman, prayer is the very best one.

An Update so You Don't Think I Hate You...I Love You.

2009-05-29T07:15:00.005-05:00

Many things have happened since my last update.

I'm back on ADOS orders, which means in short; I can pay my bills. Which in this day in age is quite phenomenal. I'll be employed until Sept 30, 2009 and then a couple different things could happen: I could re-enlist or get comissioned. Either one is fine, the later would put the wiffle and I in a better place. We'll see what happens.

It's getting warm here and it's about to be beach time.

I guess not that much has happened now that I'm sitting here writing about it....Hmmmm.

Thanks for reading this tiny post.

Piece.

PS: The headline may or may not be a sweet link somewhere cool.

A Sign the End is Nigh...and in Texas of all Places...

2009-05-29T06:56:00.003-05:00

Debbie McLucas comes from a patriotic family – her husband and both of her sons served in the U.S. military, and her daughter is currently deployed to Iraq on her second tour of duty as a combat medic.
So when McLucas arrived at work at a Texas hospital last Friday, she was stunned to be told that the Stars and Stripes she had hung in her office in advance of Memorial Day were offensive, and that the flag had been removed.
“I got into work, I was met by my supervisor and told that there had been multiple complaints, that people found the flag very offensive and it had been taken down," McLucas told FOXNews.com.
"I went to the office to retrieve it and found the flag wrapped around the pole, sitting in the corner on the ground. I was speechless."
McLucas, a supervisor at Kindred Hospital in Mansfield, Texas, had displayed the 3-by-5-foot flag in the office she shares with the hospital’s three other supervisors. McLucas said one of her colleagues, a woman who immigrated to the United States from Africa 14 years ago, complained about the flag to upper management, and the hospital decided to take down the flag.
"I was told that as long as my flag offended one person, it would be taken down," McLucas said.
She said the hospital told her that the American flag flying outside the building would have to suffice. "I was told, ‘There is a flag hanging out front, everyone can see that one. Is that not enough?’"
No, she said, that wasn't enough.
"It is more than I can even fathom, that you would find the American flag offensive, in America," McLucas said.
A Kindred Healthcare spokeswoman did not return calls for comment. Kindred issued a press release stating, “Kindred Hospital Mansfield has a great deal of appreciation for the service that many of our employees and their families have given to their country. We honor our veterans and active military through a variety of benefits and service programs. This was an isolated incident between two employees that we are working to resolve amicably.”
The statement went on to explain: “The disagreement was over the size of the flag and not what it symbolized. We have invited the employee to put the flag back up.”
And it will go back up and stay up, McLucas said.
"I do think they're trying to do the right thing. I have no reason to believe the flag won't remain there as long as I'm employed."

**DISCLAIMER**: The picture of Pamela Anderson was not taken by me, nor am I using it for any monetary gain. Mrs. McLucas does not look like Ms. Anderson, nor am I trying to imply she does. It is merely an awesome/patriotic photograph that features an implied nude, attractive woman covering her woman parts with the National colors.**DISCLAIMER**

Obama has 'Jesus' covered for talk at Georgetown...Didn't want his flesh to start burning off....

2009-04-24T13:29:00.003-05:00

I'm going to have to agree with the good Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League, this was a cowardly act...check this action out...from Fox News.

Georgetown University hid a religious inscription representing the name of Jesus during President Obama's address there Tuesday, FOXNews.com has confirmed, because White House staff asked the school to cover up all religious symbols and signs while the president was on stage.

The monogram IHS, whose letters spell out the name of Jesus, and which normally perches above the stage in Gaston Hall where the president spoke, was covered over with what appeared to be black wood during the address.

"In coordinating the logistical arrangements for the event, Georgetown honored the White House staff's request to cover all of the Georgetown University signage and symbols behind the Gaston Hall stage," university spokesman Andy Pino told FOXNews.com.

Click here for photos.

The White House said that the backdrop, which included blue drapes and a host of American flags, was standard during policy speeches and other events.

"Decisions made about the backdrop for the speech were made to have a consistent background of American flags, which is standard for many presidential events," said White House spokesman Shin Inouye in a statement released Thursday.

Georgetown is a private Catholic institution founded by Jesuits in 1789. The auditorium where the president spoke Tuesday is adorned with religious imagery, but only the symbols directly on the stage -- those likely to be picked up by a television camera -- were obscured.

Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League, accused the university of "cowardice" for acceding to the White House, and criticized Obama's team for asking a religious school to "neuter itself" before the president made his address.

"No bishop who might speak at the White House would ever request that a crucifix be displayed behind him," he said.

The White House insisted that the move was made only to provide a proper setting for the speech -- and said that "any suggestions to the contrary are simply false."

Though his advance team asked that the religious signs be veiled, the president himself took up religious discourse and discussed a passage from Jesus' Sermon on the Mount as he outlined his plans for an economic recovery.

"We cannot rebuild this economy on the same pile of sand," he said during his remarks, which came two days after Easter. "We must build our house upon a rock."

It was Obama's first visit to Georgetown since being elected president, but he also spoke at the school on Sept. 20, 2006 about the need for energy independence. A photograph of the event does not seem to indicate that parts of the stage were hidden during that address, which Obama made while still a U.S. senator.

Another Catholic university, Notre Dame, came under fire in late March for inviting the president to speak at its May 17 commencement. Obama supports abortion rights, which are considered anathema by the Catholic Church.

Carbon Leaf...Check them out...Now.

2009-04-22T08:08:00.004-05:00

A magical band, hailing from Virginia mixing classical folk, jazz and rock and coming together in 1996.

Alan Sculley, North County Times, San Diego has this to say about the band:

Plenty of longtime Carbon Leaf fans will notice that on the group’s two most recent CDs, 2004’s “Indian Summer” and the newly released “Love, Loss, Hope, Repeat,” there’s an obvious absence of the sound that once got Carbon Leaf labeled by some as a Celtic/bluegrass band.
It’s not that Carbon Leaf wanted to abandon its Celtic roots or had forgotten about that influence. It’s just that the last time the band got its “Irish” up, the results were less than enthralling.

“The albums are decidedly non-Celtic,” Carbon Leaf singer Barry Privett saidin a recent phone interview. “They weren’t intended to get us out of that
(Celtic) box so much that we had kind of grown tired of that box. For‘Indian Summer’ we had written probably 22 songs to see which ones would make the cut. A lot of the songs had that Celtic influence, but we had already kind of been mining that territory for a few years. The songs that we had written that had that influence just didn’t feel inspired anymore.”
As a result, “Indian Summer” and especially “Love, Loss, Hope, Repeat” have emphasized Carbon Leaf’s rock and pop influences.

The direction is apparent with tracks such as “Learn to Fly,” “A Girl and Her Horse” and “Under the Wire,” which all feature strong pop melodies. The rootsier side of Carbon Leaf, meanwhile, shows on acoustic-leaning tunes such as “The War Was in Color” and “Block of Wood,” while on “Comfort” and “Texas Stars,” the group rocks a bit more briskly.
The more pronounced rock and pop influences surfaced on “Love, Loss, Hope, Repeat” ---- the band’s seventh CD ---- for a variety of reasons, Privett said, including the fast pace that surrounded the writing and recording of the CD.
After spending January writing material for the CD, the band faced a tight schedule for recording. The band, which also includes Carter Gravatt (guitar/mandolin), Terry Clark (guitar), Jordan Medas (bass) and Scott Milstead (drums), had only three weeks for the session and a couple of weeks for overdubs.

This meant there wasn’t time to be too fussy with the basic tracks for “Love, Loss, Hope, Repeat” or to do much additional recording during the overdub sessions ---- a situation that led to a leaner, more rocking sound on the CD.
This more direct sound, though, wasn’t unplanned. The group went into “Love, Loss, Hope, Repeat” wanting to create songs that were shorter and more tightly constructed than on its first several albums.
They found an ally in that mission in Peter Collins, a producer whose resume includes projects with Bon Jovi, Elton John and Rush.
“He’s kind of pop oriented (in his) approach to song structure,” Privett said. “We tend to write long intros and a solo and a bridge and maybe a second bridge. We’ll add lots of pieces to songs. He kind of is the opposite. So we had to work with him (on arrangements). And we were in agreement. We wanted to try something a little different, shorter songs and little bit more focus on getting more into a smaller time frame.”

The shift toward more of a rock-pop sound should help Carbon Leaf further expand its audience.
For about a dozen years, the Richmond, Va.-based band has been used to earning fans the hard way ---- one show at a time. For the first nine years of its career, Carbon Leaf was a do-it-yourself band in the purest sense of the term. The group self-released its first five CDs and was self-managed, self-booked and self-promoted.
But things began to accelerate for the band in 2002 when it won the Coca-Cola New Music Award for the song “The Boxer,” off of the band’s fifth and final self-released CD, “Echo Echo.” Part of the prize was the opportunity to become one of the rare unsigned bands to ever play on the American Music Awards.

The exposure from the award and the AMA performance enabled the group to attract a manager, booking agent, publicist and lawyer, while extensive touring coupled with the increased media attention from the group’s AMA performance and some scattered radio play for “The Boxer” helped raise Carbon Leaf’s profile.
Eventually record labels started to check out the group, and after once again funding the recording of “Indian Summer” itself, Carbon Leaf signed to Vanguard Records, which released the CD in 2004. Privett said it was time to put the distribution and marketing capabilities of a record company behind the band.

The move so far seems to have worked. The song “Life Less Ordinary” off “Indian Summer” became a modest adult radio hit and gave Carbon Leaf its first taste of mainstream exposure.
“You probably end up making less money (than) the setup as an independent band, but you get more exposure,” Privett said. “So we were ready to take that risk, knowing there’s not a whole lot to lose. You can always go back to being independent if it doesn't work out."

I found this band while listening to a Pandora station I created around another great band; Moxy Fruvous . I was immediately impressed by their fresh, clean sound and witty word-play.

Coming up on May 19, 2009 they are dropping a new album enltitled: Nothing Rhymes With Woman.

Jamie Foxx...A High-Five, Miley Cyrus...Welcome to Celebrity

2009-04-21T14:05:00.002-05:00

Here's a sample to kick things off...

Jamie Foxx had some not-so-nice words for Miley Cyrus during his weekend Sirius radio show "The Foxxhole," judging by a audio posted on YouTube and heard below.

During a discussion criticizing Miley, 16, for being upset at not getting to meet Radiohead backstage at the Grammys, Foxx, 41, told her to get a gum transplant and to "make a sex tape and grow up... Get like Britney Spears and do some heroin... get some crack in your pipe... Catch chlamydia on a bicycle seat."

Someone else is heard calling her a "white bitch."

Foxx has a teenage daughter.
And if you want to read it for yourself: Huffington Post

I'm sorry to all of you who have kids...because you have kids, not because I'm about to offend you.

Everyone is getting all up in arms about comments Jamie Foxx made about Miley Cyrus' Radiohead ordeal. What the uninformed public doesn't realize is that our dear Miley threatened to "ruin Radiohead."

Zimbio.com

Radiohead refused to speak to Miley Cyrus.

The Hannah Montana star is "obsessed" with the alternative rock band, but when she saw them at the Grammy Awards last month they wouldn't acknowledge her.

Miley said: "My manager asked and said, 'Miley, she's really obsessed and she'd really like to meet them,' and they were like, 'Yeah, we don't really do that.'

"I left because I was so upset. I wasn't going to watch!

"I'd already texted all my friends, we were all freaking out. This is someone who I would have cried to have met. Stinking Radiohead!"

This is not the first rejection 16-year-old Miley has suffered.

She recently revealed her school days were "friendless, lonely and miserable".

Writing in her new book Miley Cyrus: Miles To Go, she recollects: "The girls took it beyond normal bullying. These were big, tough girls. I was scrawny and short.

"They were fully capable of doing me bodily harm."

Ruin Radiohead!? After a comment like that and America getting up in arms for one of the top grossing bands in the history of bands, snubbing an upstart artist whose fan-base's collective total of high school diplomas is hovering around, what? 3-ish?

All of this and Cesar Laurean is back in our great state of North Carolina. DAMN RADIOHEAD!

Her wash-up father weighed in with this response to Bonnie Hunt “It was hurtful, there wasn’t nothing funny about it, and quite frankly, I think if I said those things about his daughter he might not find it so comedic.”

"...Wasn't nothing funny..." That breaks my achy breaky grammar heart. BRC, your ignorance is showing, you might want to tuck that back behind your ear with your shaggy-cool-dad-do.

It's painfully telling about a society who wants to fight about a whiny-snot-nosed, 16 year-old who has already made more money than Onslow County will see in three generations.

Foxx doesn't owe her anything. It shows he is a gentleman by apologizing but, he's a comedian, a comedian who has a show on SIRIUS satellite radio. It's not like anyone could've heard it. Only paying customers heard it.

Get over yourselves people.

Jamie,

Keep on truckin, Man.

WP

The AXE Effect...

2009-04-21T08:55:00.003-05:00

I'm sure you all remember when body sprays hit the mainstream and everyone was using them. By 'everyone' I mean guys who watched the commercials and actually bought into the naked chicks appearing in the rooms of guy who sprayed-on as he dresses.

I think AXE was by far the most popular, but then TAG got in the mix as did Old Spice. While each of the brands provided solid scents, they named them hard-core things like: Vice, Pheonix, Swagger, Live Wire, After Hours, Lucky Day. Well, Lucky Day is slightly less hard, but catchy nonetheless.

I'm a body spray fan.

What I'm not a fan of is the guys that think it's a shower alternative.

I looked at the three big names in body sprays or brays as I'm going to refer to them in this story because I'm tired of writing two words to describe one thing.

The guys who'll go for a run at lunch spray on some Lucky Day and put their work clothes back on. The makers of popular brays factored in preventing stink, not how good their scent smelled when mingled with overwhelming ball sweat-stank.

The reason this post is seeing the light of day is because i purchased some AXE Clix yesterday because I had forgotten my Arm & Hammer, all natural, stick deodorant at my house and subsequently had nothing to grace my underarms with when I was done showering after my workout.

I ran over to the store before class, dashed to the deodorant aisle and saw AXE Clix on sale. I sprayed some down the aisle and stuck my nose in it, like an old Warner Brother's cartoon with the visible scent waifs coming from a pie that Sylvester follows into the kitchen. I liked what I smelled, purchased and added some AXE to my life.

So, I condone the use of these products as cologne or in some cases deodorant, but never would I allow one to use any of these as a shower substitute. That is all.

Thanks for reading,
WP

The Car is Coming Together....Expect Pics...

2009-04-07T11:39:00.002-05:00

So, my 1995 Volkswagen GTI VR6 is slowly coming together but it's going to start speeding up.
I bought new rims from J. D. down in Wilmington for next to nothing. The only issue was the offset of my stock rims was larger than the rims I bought. I went searching for a set of 10mm wheel adapters and 20 wheel bolts in a size 10mm longer than stock. Found the spacers on the 'tex for $80 and a couple weeks later I found all 20 bolts from a fellow dubber, also on from the 'tex. The bolts were never used and still individually packaged; I picked up the lot for $55. So all in all I spent $260 to get a sweet set of Avus rims on my car. I'm pretty stoked because EuroRennen 2009 is an annual european car show held this year in Jacksonville, NC and my car though not show worthy will be complete to ferry me to and from the show. I'll post pictures as soon as I can of the new rims. For now here is a photo before the new rims and when the rear spoiler was still on.

I Love My Wife...

2009-03-31T18:43:00.004-05:00

I mentioned in a previous post about how my wife brought me out of a depression I didn't know I was in. I'm living a more vivacious life as a married man.

I've heard all of the arguments about how being single and how playing the field is a liberating and fulfilling experience. I beg to differ. 

My wife is all that is woman. 

Without so much as a word of opposition or gripe she's by my side through thick and thin. Nothing illustrates this point better than my endeavour to get back on Active Duty. I've told her about the prospect of me deploying, us having to move, us having to move every three years or her having to find a new job whenever we move. Nothing filled my heart with more joy than her unflinching resolve to support me when I told her about the option of us moving across the country, leaving our little slice of beach, to take up residence in the great state of Colorado.  Her response was, "When? Let's go." 

When people rush into a marraige after only seeing the surface of the perks and fun of having a help-mate to traverse life's peaks and valleys with, they never anticipate the trials that lurk in the deep, dark receses of the future. 

I've seen marriages dissolve after a deployment, after a reassignment or when the stresses of military life interfere with the love a husband and wife have for each other...

Marriage. It's a job. It's a hobby. It's not the place to be selfish and no one has taught me that more than my wife. 

That is all. 

Don't be selfish and tell the one you love, you love them. Put them first and when you take the rose-colored glasses off, you'll see the world is rose-colored....

Thanks for reading,

WP

Just A Quick Note...So You Don't Thing I've Forgotten You...

2009-03-29T21:16:00.003-05:00

Hi.

How's things?

I hope everything's good.

I've so much going on right now and I'm having a hard time differentiating it all into posts. I'm going to, just not right now. Keep checking back...give me a day or three and I'll have something here for you. Thanks.

love,

Shameless Site Plug

2009-03-13T09:03:00.002-05:00

I found a magical site and this site contains a magical list:

Skippy's List.

Considering some of my audience is military or military affiliated I think this list will be have you literally, wetting your bloomers.

Happy Reading,

WP

Shameless Site Plug!

2009-03-05T11:35:00.002-05:00

I hate the idea of contradicting my Shameless Site Plugs but I'm about to.

WWW.IMEEM.COM (If you click on the headline of this story you can go to the site....)

It's like Pandora.com but it's actual on-demand and you can type in an artist or a band and listen to it right away. Check it out and let me know.

-Piece

Obama...Taking a Stand...Shirking From the Challenge...and Offering Advice

2009-03-05T11:22:00.003-05:00

"You can't just listen to Rush Limbaugh and get things done," President Obama told top GOP leaders, whom he had invited to the White House to discuss his nearly $1 trillion stimulus package.

This is classic. I just finished writing a piece about how Limbaugh needs to take action but should wait for a more opportune time to pounce and this comes out.... I love it...Follow the link in the headline...

-Piece

Rush Limbaugh...Game On...But, Not Yet...

2009-03-05T10:48:00.004-05:00

Rush Limbaugh needs to cool his jets. I'm not a huge Obama fan. I've seen/heard him speak and I'm still skeptical. But, I think what everyone is missing is; he's the new president. We should be skeptical of him! He's new, unproven, inexperienced.

That is no reason to jump all over him and challenge him to an on-air, verbal joust. I love our first amendment right to free-speech and the like, but can we let the man get settled first? I understand there are people in America who dedicate their children to Rush, name pets after him, tune into his show as if his words were the oxygen they needed to live. Limbaugh, while a staunch supporter of the military, apple pie and baseball, he generally comes across as a tactless, baboon, who's only looking to diminish the morale of the left-wing liberals of America.

With that said Limbaugh was recently a guest on Sean Hannity's program; "Hannity" and he made some great points:

"I mean, Sean, he is our president now. And he's not black, he's not from Mars, he's not — he's our president, he's a human being. We're a country comprised of human beings that the Democrat Party and the left have attempted to arrange into groups of victims, and that's who he appeals to, and the victims are the people waiting around for some grievance to be resolved."

Obama's camp made and makes every effort to make the American public more and more dependent on the government by convincing them, they are victims of something.

He goes on to say:

"Now I look at the things that he has said, and I'm very much concerned that our greatness is going to be redefined in such a way that it won't be great, that we're just going to become average. You cannot have this large of government role in the private sector with so many people thinking that just because they're Americans they're entitled to things, that this guy is going to pass them out and keep this country great and innovative, full of entrepreneurs, and — these things concern me."

Limbaugh is right to be concerned as are we all for the simple reason the American people are getting bombarded with double-speak and conflicting statements. During a recent visit to a Camp Lejeune, NC, the biggest amphibious Marine Corps base in the world and a gymnasium full of Marines, he announced a time frame to get end the offensive military presence in Iraq and focus fully on the rebuilding and supporting the fledgling Iraqi government. Married up with that announcement is the announcement that Guantanamo Bay is closing down. Why would these two events coincide? I'm hardly saying everyone incacerated in G-bay is a terrorist but certainly there are terrorists there and once they're released to an Iraq void of a mass military presence who else is thinking this is a bad idea?

Limbaugh:

"...he plays both sides. He's going to placate the far left Fringe Kook base, his Web site people, and OK, he's going to close Guantanamo, but he's not going to close Guantanamo, because he — and he's not going to get out of Iraq in 16 months, he's going to say so, but he's not going to saddle himself with defeat of forces in Iraq or Afghanistan, and he's certainly not — I can't believe that he's — he will willingly release people at Guantanamo who will come back and revisit terrorist acts in this country.-

-Not on his watch. They would have loved for that to have happened during Bush. They would love surrender in Iraq when it's on Bush's shoulders, but I don't think he's going to do it, and I think — but he's got to say things that make his Fringe Kook base think that he is being true to his campaign promises."

However backwards his comments are and whether or not he is going to be able to please everyone I think we should give him chance to shoot himself in the foot if that is what is going to happen. I say give Limbaugh his shot...but let's even the odds and make this entertaining.

Thanks for reading,

I'm Boycotting Sears Automotive...

2009-03-04T08:02:00.003-05:00

I went on an adventure this past weekend, 28 Feb, 2009 after finding that one of the rims on the GTI was bent.

I remember hitting a pothole going about 60-ish a couple weeks back and didn't think anything about it. Big mistake. I should've had it checked out immediately. I would fill-up my tire with air to about 35 psi and by the next day it would be sitting at 16 psi.

To rectify this problem I quickly retreated to ncdubs.org to hunt down a second-hand set of rims for not a lot of money. A fellow Volkswagen enthusiast screen named: JeffyDahmer who happened have a set of rims for the right price. I made the arrangements to purchase these wheels and headed down to Wilmington.

The night prior I called Sears Automotive in Wilmington and made an appointment to have the tires on the old rims taken off, put on the new rims and put them on my car. I didn't expect this to be difficult for the technicians at Sears Automotive.

The wife and I walked around the mall for about 2 hours and found our way back to Sears to be greeted by the tech who was working on my car.

"There's a problem with the wheels," he informs me.

There certainly was a problem. The offset of the rim wasn't allowing for any sort of free motion and the rim was getting hung up on the brake caliper. I was disappointed and kicked myself for not thinking about this.

"No problem," I said, "Take two of the rims that aren't bent, put the tires back on them and put them back on the car."

After I was told it was done I went to pay and was promptly overcharged. When I brought it to the gentleman's attention he first tried to tell me I was wrong, until I showed him where I was previously charged the correct amount. He reluctantly changed it to the correct amount and I paid him.

The following days I noticed my front passenger tire wasn't holding air. I called the Jacksonville Sears Automotive and told them I went to Wilmington and I think they might have messed up my tire. They agreed to check it out for me.

I arrived at Sears in Jacksonville at 6 p.m. and by 8 p.m. only to find the retard in Wilmington put the ONE bent rim back on my car and that was the express reason my tire wouldn't stay inflated. Fortunately for Sears a fantastic individual in Jacksonville told me to bring in an unbent rim and he would get it fixed for free.

So, over the course of four days I spent $4 to fill up with air everyday, spent a combined total of 4 hours in Sears and $118 to get the work done initially and wasted a trip to Wilmington.

After I call back down to Wilmington I'll let you all know if I'm successful in either getting a refund for the work to compensate me for my wasted time or get that mouth-breather fired.

Thanks for reading,

WP

I'm now an Ordained Priest...

2009-02-22T09:48:00.002-05:00

...In the Church of the Latter-Day Dude. Which would make me Dudeist Priest. A frame of mind lacking in modern-day society is the "Take-it Easy" mentality. In our everyday hustle and bustle we as a community are jarred and assaulted by deadlines, bosses and societal norms. Normal be damned.

Abide,

Dudeist Priest 1st Degree

Here are some of the teachings of the Dude as authored by the Dude:

BOOK 1

1. Thou shalt always use fresh creamer when preparing the sacramental beverage. To ensure its freshness, it must be sniffed and even sampled before purchase. If it is unclean, put it back.

2. Ideally half-and-half shall be used in preparing the sacramental beverage. Failing this, milk, and under the most dire of circumstances, non-dairy creamer.

3. Always write checks whenever possible, as your cash is limited and you never know when you might have to pay off roving bands of heathen Nihilists.

4. When confronted by vicious thugs demanding money, give them it. If you don't have it, employ humor to lighten the situation. Do not under any circumstances try to fight back by hurling a bowling ball at them.

5. When discussing a matter of grave importance, or even of trifling idiocy, always make sure to employ expletives as much as possible to prove your heartfelt honesty and conviction. To ensure your dudeness, all out-of-control, manic discussions should be followed with entreaties to "just take it easy, man."

6. If an adversary is clearly too uptight to see things from your perspective, don your sunglasses and intone "Fuck it." Then take something of fair value from his house as you depart.

7. Employ comfortable furnishings in your home such as reclining chairs, scented candles, Persian rugs and fanciful mini-bars with ironic posters of former adversaries. Your house is your temple and your temple should be well tied-together.

8. Always honor your landlord. Do your best to pay the rent on time. Failing that, indulge his artistic ambitions regardless of how utterly misguided they might be.

9. Never have an outward-opening door on your house.

10. When confronted by a large man with a gun who demands you mark it zero, oblige him. Otherwise you risk entering a world of pain. Ideally he will get his comeuppance from the League for contravening a number of its bylaws.

BOOK 2

1. Never trust wealthy, successful people you hardly know who want to employ you to engage in shady undertakings.

2. Money is the root of all evil. It's also the root of all good stories, so hooray for money.

3. A plan referred to as foolproof is often proved foolish.

4. Life does not stop and start at anyone else's convenience.

5. Respect everyone's point of view. It's just, like, their opinion, man.

6. Always remember interesting turns of phrase that you hear so that you can employ them in completely unrelated situations later and convincingly sound as if you know what you're talking about.

7. The ringer can't look empty.

8. Make sure to always use the proper form of the pronoun. No one uses the editorial or royal "we" in everyday exchange unless they're trying to hide something.

9. Never park in a handicapped space if you've got a million dollars in your car. In fact, never leave a million dollars in your car, especially if your car is in lousy condition.

10. If a doctor is referred to as "thorough," harbor some reservations about visiting him. Unless of course you enjoy that sort of thing.

11. When confronted by unfortunate circumstances, forget about it. You can't be worrying about that shit. Life goes on.

12. Always protect your sacramental beverage, even in times of severe duress.

13. Whenever possible, try to get paid in cash in order to avoid getting bumped up into a higher tax bracket.

BOOK 3

1. Freedom is great. Many young men have died face-down in the muck to protect our freedoms. Nevertheless, one should still be courteous and keep their voice down in a family restaurant.

2. Unless you're a high-ranking member of society, don't expect too much from the police.

3. Sometimes not having an ethos is an ethos in itself. Usually it's a bad one, though.

4. Never go into a tournament with a negative attitude.

5. Try not to use so many cuss words. Unless they're near and dear to your heart, in which case, fuck it.

6. Make sure the window of your car is rolled down before ejecting a burning object. You probably shouldn't drink beer and drive either, even though it might come in useful to extinguish the burning object.

7. When strange men show up at your house accusing you of a crime and brandishing evidence at you, it is best that you feign mental illness and don't say peep.

8. What happens when one fucks a stranger in the ass is not always what one might think will happen, nor what is necessarily fair or just to any of the concerned parties.

9. Never trust a known pornographer to whom any sizeable sum of money is owed.

10. Never trust an African-American cab driver who enjoys listening to the Eagles.

BOOK 4

1. If you are a man of modest means and charisma and a rich, beautiful woman wants to have sex with you, don't question her motives until after the act is over.

2. Avoid living in the past, even if memories can be beautiful and remind you of a time you once enjoyed.

3. Though the man in the black pajamas might be a worthy adversary, you should avoid him whenever possible. Especially if he's easily avoided. Choose instead to cling to the tree of life.

4. Just because you're bereaved doesn't make you a sap. Keep your wits about you, even when you're bummed out.

5. Take 'er easy for all the sinners of the world, dude. Abide. And amen.

Shameless Site Plug!

2009-02-22T09:41:00.004-05:00

Ha ha...You were just thinking, "Man, Mr. Piece totally bailed on this sweet idea and as cool as Pandora is, I need more."

Here you go fans of the interweb: International Society of Supervillians

This is a fine/hilarious site, I'm not a comic book kid but I find this site a breath of fresh air to an all too stuffy internet surf session. 

Have fun, 

love,

WP

Fun Little Facebook Exchange...

2009-02-16T08:32:00.008-05:00

Here is the revision of the granddad fiasco...Red is Lester and Blue is me. Happy reading.
The back story behind this exchange comes from a comment I left on Ryan's Facebook.com page, peppered with colorful language requesting his deployed address.

I (and hopefully others) would appreciate it if you would cut out your foul language on Facebook. I am surprised they would even allow it. Usually it is a sign of immaturity. You should remember that young children are reading what you write. So -watch it.

Thank you for your concern, for your sake and the children perusing this fine social network 

I will refrain from using unbecoming language on my good buddy, Ryan's profile. Have a good day.

I appreciate your response, especiially since I noticed you listed your religion as Christian.Foul language anywhere is not a trademark of a Christian and reflects badly on your Christian witness. 

Think about that. Have a good day.

Lester,
I'm curious whether or not you have a day job. I'd consider getting one and worrying about your witness and keeping your advice to yourself. You seem like a fantastically self-righteous Christian who turns the unsaved away from precious salvation because of your snarky attitude. Think about that. Have a good evening.

Being 82 years old it is difficult to get a job. As for keeping my advice tro myself it isn't just my advice but what the Bible has to say about how we should act so as not to lead a life that is a bad influence on others. I am not sure what "snarky attitude" is, but I suspect that it is not something I possess. As for being a fantastically self-righteous Christian ;et me assure you I am not. I just , at times, speak out against things that are contrary to the teaching of Christ, especially to those who claim to be Christians but do not show it by their actions.

Eighty-two huh? You've had a pretty good run. I'm 24 and I can distinctly remember my mother telling me to keep my mouth shut if I'm not being spoken to. I would've expected that advice was carried over from your generation. My reference to your getting a job was less a suggestion about you being gainfully employed and more of a point that you might take up a hobby, get a drinking problem or something other than pestering people. You are perpetuating the stereotype that old people are annoying.

I'm still wondering why we are having this conversation. I'm entertained by it, but it's tragic that even after receiving an apology from me and the restraint I've displayed by not using foul language on Ryan's page, you are still harping on this.

I think you should open a school or perhaps offer a weekend clinic where you can teach the Gospel according to Lester, which may or may not coincide with actual Biblical truth. This way you can indoctrinate small children first, then maybe you can stand-up a fanatical militia comprised of the children you trained, then you can single out a particular sect, race or creed of people you don't like and eradicate them...oh wait. That's already been done. Mein Kampf might be worth a read if this is your plan.

I'm going to pray for you, Lester.

love,
Matt

My 25 Random List from Facebook...

2009-02-01T15:05:00.003-05:00

1. I love being married and can't picture my life without my wife.
2. Civilian life sucks. It's boring, lacks structure, it's full of fat people.
3. I've some really great friends. The term "friend" doesn't do these kids justice. Brother/Sister is much more fitting. I love you guys.
4. "I am firm believer in everything happens for a reason. People die, people who you thought were your friends turn out not to be, marriages end, but life still goes on. It's what we make of what we have that matters." - Drew Pendracki
5. I love my job and being back in the Corps. Bleed Green, F*ck*rs.
6. Two Chicks in Baltimore that never were...DINFOS days...
7. Two white MkIII Golfs rolling tandem through Jactiontown...
8. I love being a Marine.
9. I'm often told I'm too accessible to people and I should say 'no' more.
10. I really enjoy cigars and imported beer.
11. My wife brought me out of a depression I didn't know I was in until I look back on it.

12. I'm 24 but I feel like 35.
13. Love the beach.
14. I'm not a fan of our new Pres. I don't think he likes the military enough.
15. I'm ready for this war to wind down...The history books have enough heroes for a while...
16. As a Marine journalist, Hunter S. Thompson is my hero.
17. Society needs to re-focus. We're all broke, we're all tired of the same stuff, we all have families, we're all living...we need to cut each other some slack. Shake a hand, offer to help someone for no other reason than they're having a hard time.
18. Try to stay out of WalMart. There are mom and pop businesses who would love to have your business and to greet you by name and be your friends.
19. I'm ready to be done with school.
20. I plan on having a lot of money in the future.
21. Don't hold grudges, they'll kill you from the inside.
22. Don't worry.
23. Shotguns would solve the immigration problem.
24. I'm tired of minority groups yelling for equality. America, God Bless it, is the most equal country in the free world. If you want preferential treatment, Go F*ck Yourself.
25. White, Mid-Twenties, Male: The new n*gg*r....try to get a good job f*ck*r.

Shameless Site Plug!

2009-01-16T16:42:00.003-05:00

If you're a regular reading of my meanderings you probably aren't going to get to excited about me starting a new segment: 'Shameless Site Plug!'

"SURE!" You say knowing full well I'm going to religiously give you some sweet sites for about 2 weeks before abandoning that great idea for a while and then resurrect it and re-package and present it to you again in a couple months as a brand new idea.

But for now we're doing it, I could give a hoot whether you want to come.

Pandora=Free Online Radio!

Check that out and happy listening...

love,

Rising Sun Cat: Part Deux

2009-01-16T16:39:00.003-05:00

I'm still trying to figure it out, but eitherway I'm pleased to report my cat neglecting neighbor is being evicted from our little slice of beach-front heaven. So, hopefully Rising Sun Cat is going with them...More to come...

Alcohol Update!

2009-01-16T16:26:00.004-05:00

I have been experimenting with various ingredients and I've invented a new drink: Mandy's G-Spot. Now my wife's G-vegas isn't a myth any more...

Of course my previous statement is rather incriminating, leading the unsuspecting reader to think I can't please my wife...To clear the air; I own that sh*t and it's just the name of a drink....

Tumbler 1/2 full of ice

1 can of Dr. Pepper

A shaker with the following ingredients:

1/2 full of ice

2 shots of Sailor Jerry's Spiced Rum

1 shot of Cherry Liquer

2 Tbsp of Maraschino Cherry syrup

1/2 fresh lime minus the rind, squeezed into the shaker then thrown in.

1/2 fresh lemon minus the rind, squeezed into the shaker then thrown in.

Shake until chilled.

Pour 1/2 of mixture into tumbler fill remainder with Dr. Pepper

Serve with lime wedge and maraschino cherry

Makes 2 servings.

I'm pretty sure this hasn't been documented but if it has let me know...

love,

Rising Sun Cat

2009-01-13T21:22:00.002-05:00

As I have ranted before, I’m having a problem with feral cats in my neighborhood. I’ve contemplated different courses of action including but not limited to; spring-powered pellet pistols, firing plastic pellets at no more than 200 f.p.s, calling the county animal control, calling my landlady, and my solution. I’m not going to give it away, you’ll have to read the rest and come on this little journey with me to find out how I solved my little conundrum.

The pellet pistol was a great idea, but my conscience wouldn’t let me use a CO2 powered pistol which is capable of rocketing a BB towards an unsuspecting feline at speeds up to or exceeding 500 feet-per-second. Those are dangerous speeds, considering I never shot a cat at a distance farther than 10-15 yards and wasn’t trying to maim or kill a cat, just spook it out of my yard. I purchased a cheapo, spring powered pistol from Wally World. This pistol looked very high-speed and had great BB capacity, but just didn’t put enough ‘stank’ behind the BB to actually deter a cat from hanging out in my yard.

Before I go any farther in my explanation of vermin eradication, let me validate my cause; Mandy is violently allergic to anything with fur. Not only that, because of this allergy, she never had pets growing up so she is under the impression; pets are gross and shouldn’t be indoors with humans.

The county animal control branch is a fine group of state employees who work very hard, but they’re under-manned and over worked. They are willing to come out to my house and drop off an un-baited trap. They leave the trap for two to three days and whether there’s a cat there or not, they come back for it. To get the trap returned to the house, I have to call them again and thus the cycle repeats.

My landlady is a sweetheart, who condones my campaign but offers no support. I asked her to send a letter to all of the occupants owning cats, advising them to keep them indoors. She allegedly sent, said letter and the response I received was; cats, in my yard.

So after much deliberation I’ve arrived at a conclusion, stop taking out my aggression on the cats. They don’t know right from wrong. I will, instead use the cats as a tool to get the attention of their owners. I recently did a project on my van, requiring red, tan and black spray paint. I still have a small amount of each of those colors remaining in my spray paint arsenal. One of the three cats, constantly invading my yard and therefore my life, is white with freakish, red eyes. These cats are blatantly indoor cats, demonstrated by their fearless presence on my porch and their unflinching resolve to stay there even when I come outside to shoo them away. This pesky white cat is very vocal, he’ll sit at my front or back door for hours meowing, moaning and groaning. One day he was sitting on my back porch when I went out to turn on my grill. I threw a rock in his direction, spooked him and went back inside to fetch my meat and veggies. Upon my return, there he was - white cat – sitting there fat and happy, like I was about to share with him or perhaps I was happy to see him. Luckily I had the can of red spray paint sitting on a cooler on my back porch, I grabbed it, ripped the top off and let’er rip. I put a fantastic red racing stripe, culminating in a bright red blob on the animal’s rump. I’m not going to lie; I cheered. I thought, man this is going to be great, the owner of that cat is going to see it covered in red spray paint and keep the cat under lock and key to avoid having to bathe it. If any of you have ever tried to bathe a cat, it’s nothing like fun. It’s right above a root canal on the fabulous fun meter.

My victory was short-lived, not two days later the same white cat strolled into my front yard while I was out there enjoying a fine cigar (Rocky Patel Renaissance). The cat walked right up to me rolled over on its back and did that here’s-my-stomach-give-me-a-scritch writhing on the ground thing; cats are so famous for. Instinctively, I gently set down my smoke and bolted through my house, out my back door, grabbed my red spray paint, bolted back through my house, gingerly retrieved my smoke and with my Patel firmly between my lips, I blasted that cat with everything that spray can had. That cat could’ve been strung up in Japan as the national colors. While I’ve slowed the event down considerably in order to give it some creative panache, it all happened in about a minute and a half.

That’s where I’m at right now in my battle against owners of cats. Any questions will be answered and any advice is welcome.

Thanks for reading,
WP

Happy NEW YEAR!

2009-01-09T20:28:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year, Kids! To kick-off 2009 I'm removing the password, so everyone can sample the wonder that is my consciousness...You're welcome and expect something lengthy very soon...

Ryan Weemer, Real American Hero...

2008-08-12T21:28:00.002-05:00

What is going on here?! We've got a Marine on trial for the 'murder' of a detained insurgent during the Battle of Fallujah in 2004. Here is a brief of run down of Sgt. Ryan Weemer, USMC.

I jacked these facts from a site dedicated to informing the world about, Sgt. Ryan Weemer.

Sergeant Ryan Weemer is a U.S. Marine charged with murdering a prisoner during fighting in the Iraqi town of Fallujah in 2004.

Weemer's alleged crime came to light when he was asked whether he had been involved in any wrongful deaths while applying for a Secret Service position. He was being monitored by a polygraph. Weemer admitted to the killings of the unarmed prisoners and said other Marines in Fallujah were involved too.

Two other marines are implicated in the killings. Sgt Jermaine Nelson faces similar charges and Jose Nazario will face a manslaughter charge.

Fast Facts

Age: 25
From Hindsboro, Illinois
Recalled to active duty so he could be charged
Based at Camp Pendleton, CA
Murder allegedly took place on November 9, 2004
A group of marines allegedly shot unarmed captives
Sgt. Weemer is the third U.S. soldier connected to the killings
The dead were reportedly firing on Marines from a house
Weemer: Rifleman in a four-man team during the Falluja battle
Charges: murder and dereliction of duty
Assignment: 3rd Battalion, 1st Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division at the time
June 2008: Nelson and Weemer jailed for refusing to testify against Nazario
July 3: Nelson and Weemer released

What Happened?

Sgt. Jermaine Nelson testified in a preliminary hearing for the Weemer trial
Nelson stated that he and Weemer were ordered to kill the prisoners by their sergeant
Third man facing charges, Sgt. Jose Nazario, said ""I'm not doing all this . . . by myself. You're doing one and Weemer is doing one"
Nazario then shot a prisoner in the head
Weemer then shot a prisoner mulitple times
According to reports, the prisoners were killed after a platoon commander (on the radio) asked whether the Iraqis were "dead yet"

Ok, am I the only one wondering why we are meddling in the affairs of Marines during a time of war? In my lifetime I've never seen such abandonment of our fine, young service-members. Not only abandonment but prosecution. The American judicial system is looking to convict this Marine of murder during a war. A W-A-R!

Here is a statement allegedly released by Sgt. Weemer's attorney I dug up this evening.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
June 17, 2008
Hell House survivor Corporal Ryan Weemer held in
contempt and imprisoned.
On November 13, 2004 twenty one year old Lance
Corporal Ryan Weemer fought room to room in the deadly
fight of Hell House to save the lives of his fellow Marines
on day four of the now historic battle of Fallujah.
By the end of the day he and his squad saved the life of Sgt.
Major Kasal who was later awarded the Navy Cross in this
same Hell House fight. By morning’s end though Weemer
was dragged half alive from the building after being cut
down by an insurgent’s AK 47 fire.
Nearly four years later Weemer is still fighting for his life
as he sits in a California prison cell at the direction of
Federal Judge Stephen Larson who ordered Weemer held in
contempt of court as part of the prosecution of another
Marine, Sergeant Jose Nazario who is charged with killing
an insurgent on day one of the battle of Fallujah.
Weemer is also charged with killing a confirmed insurgent
on the first day of the battle of Fallujah. Despite Weemer’s
initial cooperation with investigators and his willingness to
make a sworn statement to federal authorities as part of
their investigation, he has been charged with murder of an
insurgent in Fallujah and forced to rely on his
Constitutional privilege to remain silent.
After Weemer was charged, Federal Judge Stephen Larson
ordered Weemer to testify at the Grand Jury responsible for
considering additional charges against Nazario. Despite
Weemer’s prior cooperation and testimony he was ordered
held in contempt and sent to prison for an undetermined
amount of time. All this despite the fact that Weemer had
already testified regarding the matter and the testimony
given to the federal prosecutors and the Grand Jury.
Weemer, who was recalled to active duty in 2008 by the
Marine Corps to be prosecuted now sits in a federal prison
cell contemplating his fate and his short life; escaping death
in Fallujah only to be prosecuted for the act of surviving.
FOR FURTHER INFORMATION YOU MAY
CONTACT RYAN WEEMER’S ATTORNEY, PAUL
HACKETT AT XXX-XXX-XXXX.

(The number is there if anyone wants it I'll email it out.)

I know I'm all over the place with this post and when I calm down I'll throw something up here that is clear and concise. But, for now these are the facts as I see them.

Thanks for reading.

-WP

Stand By For Fun...This Password Isn't Going To Last Very LONG....

2008-06-01T22:04:00.002-05:00

Welcome to America! If my opinions offend you...that is Awesome. I hope you get so incensed that you become suicidal or if you're easily influenced, I hope you take my advice and stop being so lame.

I originally locked the public out of BlockThat! to appease someone. Someone; you can either man-up and get over yourself or waste tons of time being a crank to the people you love. Your choice.

I thought a lot about the circumstances surrounding BT! and the relationship I'm supposed to have with my public. I love you guys. You rock! You're kinda moody though and that's something chicks do. So, stop.

I'm just here sharing the little slice of heaven I've been given and I'm paying forward as much as I can, so you lameos can steal your material from me and sound cool to all of your friends.

I'm thinking this is only going to last about....2 weeks.

love,
WP

Myanmar, Huh? Tragic? Yes. Our Problem? No.

2008-05-31T07:13:00.004-05:00

At the risk of sounding like a completely insensitive, bastard, I'm going to say it. Not our fight.
Myanmar's little mudslides and the spattering of rain they got. Ah....whatever.

I just heard from Bob Villa and he said that in his professional opinion, your primary domicile should not be made of mud and sticks or situated at the bottom of a huge muddy mountain on the edge of a river.

The millions of dollars of aid, we felt it necessary to send to these people, got caught in limbo or in the hands of people who didn't really need the help is hilarious to me. The freaks in our country who 'take-up-the-cause' for the nasty little sneezes of countries, without even thinking about the problems in our country, confuse me. Gee, how much could a couple millions of dollars fix in some of the inner cities in the deep south or in developing ways to get our oil out of Alaska without disrupting the Elks. Bad investment, America, very, very bad. My financial forecast from this little adventure is: the return on this Myanmar investment is SQUAT. Thanks for playing.

Noted. It's awesome to me to think these people are surprised their country is in shambles after a big rain. Yeah it might be a REALLY big rain, but for crying out loud. If you'd send your people to school and maybe mix a batch of concrete, the sky's the limit.

My advice. Buck-up and three cheers for the Commies.

love,
WP

Here's a Doozy, Straight From the We Report, You Deciders...

2008-05-31T06:44:00.005-05:00

A prostitution ring in Texas started by three gang-affiliated youths, ages 17 and 16 was discovered in August when a woman, allegedly working with/for the two youths was arrested for offering a 14-year-old girl for sex for $50.

Evidently the three boys would befriend young girls who were either runaways or lived in volatile households and they would peddle them through apartment complexes. Like, any upstanding, respectable citizens the boys would beat the girls and sexually assault them for refusing to provide their customers whatever twisted perversion the ordered.

This is a tragic situation but what's even more disturbing is the reaction of one of the mother's of the girls involved in this now defunct society of pedophilia for hire -"These girls have to live with what happened for the rest of their lives," said the mother, who was not named to conceal the identity of her daughter. "These boys aren't going to serve much time. I don't think that after a year and half, they'll be ready to get back into society."

Okay Barbara, where were you when your daughter was going-down on the guy who owns the local quickie-mart? I think it's unfair to assume that mother has her daughter's best interest at heart. Mothering isn't a part-time job or a hobby as some mothers treat it. Where does she come off thinking, now that there 's something going on in her daughter's life, she is the reigning authority for what's best for her?

I'm sorry those young girls got caught up in such a despicable situation, but with some guidance and supervision it never would have happened.

In my opinion the best course of action, isn't to crucify the twisted, young men who are clearly guilty. They'll serve their time and hopefully they'll return to society with the understanding that we here in America, don't sell our young girls' bodies to quickie-mart owners. For the girls who got roped into this debacle, man-up and find another young girl you can mentor and teach from your mistakes.

Our society is so quick to sweep mistakes under the mat and pretend they never happened. Instead, why don't we realize that mistakes are teaching tools, real-time, honest-to-goodness, teaching aids. Instead of hanging their heads and letting their mothers go ballistic in the media, they should allow the circumstances mold them into strong women who can become the defenders of the younger girls in their communities.

Thanks for reading,

WP

This Completely Defeats the Purpose of Having a Blog

2008-05-30T20:13:00.003-05:00

You loyal three. After writing this thing since 2005, I have three bloggites. I love you guys. I love my blog. I hate having it password protected. But, that's the brakes. More to come.

Piece Out.

The Liberal Left-Coast is at it Again...and the P-Word Countdown Begins...

2008-05-19T06:52:00.004-05:00

So after 60-plus-years of fighting for the right to butt burgle and carpet buffet...the society of misfits, known as the homosexual community is now able to legally marry...each other. Granted it's only the state of California who follows the lead of Massachusetts. Sox fans eat your hearts out...I would have to renounce everything I love and cherish about the great state of North Carolina, if it were to pass legislation allowing the Q's to be legally wed. I really don't know where this country is going. Back in the day we were all about preserving the moral fiber of our country. Nowadays countries seem to be in a race to see whose moral fiber can unravel the fastest. For the full story head over to the NYTimes...

To perpetuate the gloom....This friday we are going to the password protected version of BlockThat!. Maybe one day when the drama in my life winds down I'll tear down the walls of password fortress I'm forced to create and the floodgates will open and nonsensical nonsense will spill forth into the hungry minds of the populace. Till then...read up and make sure I've got your email.

love,

WP

I'm Already Getting The Emails...

2008-05-14T20:01:00.001-05:00

Shortly after I threw up the post about password protecting my little slice of internet, I received this email from a one "2cool4school" who wrote the following and wanted me to revisit a post from Winter 2005, enjoy:

Take part in the Warren Piece Method of Thinking!

I know there are a few other readers of this "horrible", "cold-hearted", "non-funny", "swing and a miss" attempt of a blog, that are up in arms over the idea of BlockThat! becoming password protected. We live in a world of uppity, over sensitive #^@&$ that think they must ruin something for everyone, simply because they lack the ability to enjoy it themselves. This is the internet! If you don’t like a web page, go to another! If you don’t like the t.v. channel, change it! If you don’t like the book you’re reading, close it! I have been reading some past posts and stumbled upon this gem, from 2005, that couldn’t be more appropriate. To those who can’t handle humor, sarcasm and negativity...cheers! More for me!

Friday, November 18, 2005

Let's Get Together and Hurt Each Others Feelings....Or We Could Just Grow a Pair and Let It Go...

We are living in perhaps the most hyper-sensitive era, ever. We are sensitive to everything and everyone regardless of anything. We need to reevaluate how we think about things. We get offended about things that have nothing to do with us. Often times we've got people jumping to our aid who seem more offended then we are and we were the ones trespassed against. People need to realize that if they choose not to take something seriously they don't have to. We as a culture are so quick to get our feathers ruffled over nothing.
Here is the Warren Piece Method of Thinking in three easy steps.
First, if someone for example calls you a 'son-of-a-crack' you should ask yourself if you care about this person's opinion. Often times if you think before you react you'll find that you don't really care.
Second, once you figure out that you don't care, don't waste your time reacting. Imagine how much energy you would have if you didn't react to stupidity.
Three, Taking offense to something is a choice. You can choose, by sheer virtue of your freedom of thought, to not be offended. Just choose to dismiss the "offense".

Do we need affirmation from outside sources so badly that we care about others opinions about us or how we conduct various aspects of our lives? I'm constantly amazed at how many people get bent out of shape over a simple comment. Get over it.

This thought process can be applied to anything; anger, sadness, offense, and any other emotion that plagues you. I'm not saying that you shouldn't be emotional, but use your head. It's so much better and you'll find that people will want to be around you more if you stay on an even keel.

As Clouds Roll in, I Gently Weep...But Alas! The SUN!

2008-05-14T14:15:00.003-05:00

For those who don't know, I'm going through some things right now that are forcing me to take unpopular and unconstitutional steps to ward off hyper-sensitive, killjoys.

I will be password protecting; BlockThat!, starting in 1 week. I figured that would give all of my hard-core readers and my casual perusers enough time to shoot me an email with their email address so I can make sure they have unbridled access to my meanderings.

I love you guys and myself. Myself a tiny bit more, but that is only because I see myself more than you guys and I know me better than you....

-WP

Finals Done Tonight, Drills Done Today....

2008-05-06T12:26:00.004-05:00

It's looking good, all. Passed all of my classes and taking my Biology final tonight. My drills are done as well after a successful 10 day stint as an active-duty media guy for the 2008 MCAS New River air show extravaganza. Might be picking up a set of 2002 BMW M3 wheels for the Vr6 later this week...again...more to come.

Finals, Drilling, Home...Welcome to May...

2008-05-01T08:57:00.004-05:00

The three things taking up most of my life right now...I'm on orders so I'm wearing the uni. again and I'm also taking all of my finals this week. Welcome to May. More to come.

WP

I'm gonna need some comments, kids....

2008-04-16T19:07:00.003-05:00

I'm curious as to why my comment numbers are so low. I'm going to venture a guess. You are all consumers. You take and take without ever offering to replenish the source from where your entertainment came...That's cool. Be that way...We'll see who has all the fun...Ok you got me, it's you. Sorry. I'm going back to my hole.

Love,
WP

Alcohol Update

2008-04-15T20:35:00.006-05:00

Another Update. Welcome.

Boddington's Pub Ale.

A beer drinkers' beer, with a pleasant taste and a hearty body. An offering from Strangeways Brewery in Manchester, UK. I am of the school of thought, the infallibility of Wikipedia is only surpassed by the Holy Bible, that being said WikiWorld says the Strangeways Brewery was founded by two grain merchants looking to avoid paying a grain tax in the 1700's. Smart beer by smart beer guys. This beer is an any occasion beer. I had one with a turkey sandwich and had about three during a movie I was watching. It's not even 5.0% alcohol so drinking a couple to ensure you never forget it isn't a big deal. If you're having difficulty finding it throw me a comment and I'll have my people run down a location for you. Thanks for reading.

Happy Drinking,

WP

DISCLAIMER** This segment is not condoning the misuse of alcohol in any way shape or form. This segment is being weblished for the information and the responsible, enjoyment of fine beverages and in no way liable for any criminal or civil crimes committed by readers of this fine weblog. **DISCLAIMER

A Down Trodden View...But Only Just....

2008-04-15T20:00:00.003-05:00

I'm sitting in my kitchen. I'm not cooking or eating, that just happens to be where my laptop is hooked up.

I did however cook earlier in the evening and it was amazing. I'm a fan of creating my own rubs for steak. I'd like to say I made one, but I merely added to an already fantastic steak rub. It was the Montreal-salt free. Not sure who makes it but it was my base and to it I added: oregano, garlic salt, and chili powder. It was dandy.

To the post...

I'm out of it, man, seriously. I'm feeling like I work to often for too little. I'm under-sexed, over-bored, under-slept, over-tired and just ready for a vacation. I feel I work too many hours, when the reality of it is, I work just as many hours as any other full-time employee of anywhere non-military-40. It just feels like more.

For those of you who are out of the loop by you're own carelessness or by my over-sight in not publicizing the fact I'm getting married on the 20th of September in the Year of Our Lord, Two Thousand and Eight. I am and there isn't anything I can do about it. I know. You're saying, "Dude, if you don't want it, leave!" I know; kind, compassionate reader, I'm able to leave if I wanted to. I don't and am actually looking forward to one vagina and one case of morning breath for the rest of my earthly life. Ah. Life. Breathe it in. It feels, fresh, stale, magical, mundane and everything I want it to be. BOOM! Marriage: available in you local life with someone with the opposite plumbing as you...

I'm not sleeping; I'm sleepy, just not sleeping.

School; for all of you who are done with it, I envy you. It's killing me. I've mentioned this before lately so I won't dwell on it at this point but expect a full rundown after this semester.

Wanna buy some tools? I'm working at Grainger right now and boy do I sell tools...man. I put an order in today for 300 traffic cones, at $26 a pop, translates into about 8k worth of traffic cones. I squabbled with a costumer who came in the other day. I told him he should throw down some of his rich uncle's money on a big air compressor. I suggested such a purchase because I know this gentleman uses pneumatic tools. I looked over the compressor and told me, "That's too big, what am I supposed to do with a compressor that big?"
"Bolt it into the back of a truck," I quipped.
"Nah, I can get one just as powerful that takes up less space," He responded.
"Doubt it, but we can look," I offered. At which point I pulled up our database and showed him our selection of air compressors. We happened to find one, smaller and equally powerful as the first one I suggested to him.
"See, I told you I know more about compressors than you," the man challenged.
"It seems you are right, but hardly the victor," I mused "You fail to realize that it makes no difference to me which compressor you prefer, so long as you buy it from me." To that he laughed and bought 4k worth of welding equipment.
Who said selling stuff is hard? They lie.

Well...I'm out.

Love,
WP

Love the Skin Yer In....Because I do....

2008-04-08T17:23:00.005-05:00

I'm amazed on a daily basis as I look at the women I come in contact with. Some of the things women do, wear, and/or associate themselves with is painful. Not for me, so much as for them.

I'll give them the fact, society isn't really on their side when it comes to image, accessories and all the other accouterments that come with being a modern woman.

But seriously, the 5'3", 370lb. woman wearing stilettos I just passed in the community college, hallway needs to wise up. You aren't Carrie from Sex in the City and a size zero wouldn't fit around your wrist. I'm not making fun, I'm merely bringing to light an epidemic in society. The images women try to up hold are ridiculous. It doesn't once occur to women who watch; Sex in the City, Gilmore Girls, or the host of other drivel shows on TV, that those shows are cast, shot and watched by other women. When they see the Gilmore Girls sitting around with each other sobbing, watching Gone with the Wind for the umpteenth time and eating Moose Tracks out of the gallon, they are watching with tons of other chicks. It's comedic and tragic, how strictly women adhere to the 'social norms' set forth in those program when they talk about what men want. How can Carries' perpetually single/depressed self possibly be the go-to on what men want?

Men's shows and magazines aren't very helpful either. Maxim, the now defunct FHM, Details (when they aren't being GAY.), etc, are on the cutting edge of teaching normal guys 'how-to date supermodels' or the ever popular "Ordinary Dude, Extra-Ordinary Chick" and guys eat it up, like a gallon of tear-soaked Moose Tracks.

Not to be bragadocious but I've been with a few chicks. I'll wait while you interject your sophomoric, Maxim-esque joke about my cleverly named hands, family members or me maybe being from West Virginia. You want to know who the best was?

All of them. For that time in my life they were the best. The true best is the one I'm engaged to right now, but at the time each one of them was what I needed. The same holds true for everyone. The one you're with so long as they aren't criminals, beating you or spending all of your money are perfect. Everyone is scrounging around trying to find the ONE. The one for you won't be the one for me and vise-versa. Mandy wouldn't have been the perfect one if I had met her at any other time than when I did. The same with her, I wasn't her the ONE two years ago or even 15min before we met. When you find the one, the ONE ends up being the one you feel the most comfortable with. The one you can't see yourself without. Everyone has their own criteria and that's fine...Just don't glean it from a night-time drama or a trash rag.

I'm sure I can find more to say about this but I have to get to class...

God Bless,
WP

Top Ten List of WP's Beers

2008-04-06T20:23:00.002-05:00

Here's a list I was prompted to create...for your taste buds...If you need any help finding any of these let me know. Most are pretty easy to find.

10.Sapporo
9.Landshark Lager
8.Warsteiner
7.Beck's Light/Tie w/ Smithwick's
6.Newcastle
5.Boddington's Pub Ale
4.Bare Knuckle Stout
3.Highland Cold Mountain Winter Ale
2.Amstel Light
1. Guinness

Welcome To Gang Land...Where The Unpopular Find Their Balls and Leave 'Scary' and Superfluous Voicemails.

2008-03-24T20:56:00.006-05:00

It's exactly 9:58 EST and I'm sitting in my kitchen with my betrothed surfin' the net and enjoying the end of a productive day of gainful employment and good times.
It seems I no longer live in the quiet eastern Carolina beach community I moved into about 6 months ago. I have unwittingly moved into the ghetto where I sit in jubilation after receiving my first threatening phone call. I've never received one before and I find myself joining the ranks of the late Notorious B.I.G. and Tupac Shakur. I just hope I don't meet the same fate as those titans of rap music and get gunned-down while I'm checkin' my mail whilst standin' on the backs of my shoes like my people tend to do when they 'jet' out to the post-box.
This phone call came after what I can only assume was the time necessary to explain the meaning of the offending word to the deliverer of the unexpected and poorly executed 'threat-call'. If it really took as long as I think it did to translate this definition from English into a guttural European dialect then back to English, the instigator of this conflict failed to explain the word really wasn't directed at the offended party.
I have to admit I'm feelin' pretty 'Gansta' I made an off-the-cuff comment directed at Manders and this other chick is trying to go all Tonya Harding (Good Catch, Anonymous Reader...You're a Peach...WINK*) on my ass. A pipe is very 'hood'.
I've mentioned 'the offending word' a couple of times in this post. It's time to unveil the A-bomb, I've recently nicknamed "Fat Man". "strum·pet (strŭm'pĭt) n. A woman prostitute. " I used this word in jest about mine and some people read the post I threw up on the 13th of Feb 2007, and thought I was a douche-bomb and being mean to Manders. I was actually talking/typing in a pirate voice ala' Jack Sparrow "...said strumpet..." I know some of you are going to not only enjoy this post but are going to think I'm being wrongfully accused of having a bit of fun. Well played. I am. But my loss is your gain because if oddities like this didn't happen to me, I'd have next to nothing to entertain you with. You're welcome; you dirty consumers.
Moving on, this next piece is less directed to my casual reader and more directed to the jelly-souled, hyper-sensitives who make threatening phone calls. I'm talking to you right now. This is happening: Please enjoy! I'm disappointed - I don't feel very threatened. I think if this had happened earlier in my life this kind of psychological terrorism might really freak me out. But, after being where I've been and seeing some of the stuff I've seen; it's all good. If there are people out there who feel the need to take time out of their lives and react to something I've said or done; thank you. I've just succeeded in stealing part of your life. The time it takes you to pause your life and react is time, that I've inadvertently taken from you. I only say that to say this; if you're going to react then make the most of the seconds, minutes, hours or days you decide to invest in the words you direct at me.

Thanks for reading, I'm sure this will turn into a fantastic series,

I love you all and God Bless,

WP

My Last Day as an Active Reservist....

2008-02-29T08:18:00.002-05:00

I'm done. After seven months of having my expertise ignored by enlisted and officer alike, I'm throwing the deuce and buggin' out.

I'm off to work for a large industrial supply company in Eastern NC. Good for two reasons; I get to continue living at the beach and I'm still living near all my friends and my college.

I've discovered something about the Marine Corps, I'm pleased to share with you. The leadership is suffering. The people who join the Marine Corps are doing so for the wrong reasons and for that I'm saddened. I think when an office is full of people and the office happens to be their first duty station that's a problem. It's a problem because after they've been there for a year or two they start thinking in small terms and thinking the small box they subsist in is everything that is. They lose sight of the rigors of Marine Corps life due in large part to the fact they've never experienced it. These people are irritating because they haven't deployed for whatever reason. Most often it's fear of the unknown or wives who don't understand the Corps. The rant ends here...More to come...

...Time for a Drink...

2008-02-25T12:42:00.003-05:00

I've been branching out lately. I'm trying new things. Two of which; Ketel One and Water w/ Lime and shots of Patron, ultra premium tequila.

I have to thank my friend, Douglas for exposing me to these fine beverages. While a bit pricey they truly are the two smoothest drinks I've ever tasted.

I whole-heartedly recommend either of these two drinks while you're out and about on the town.

-WP

Muses...

2008-02-25T10:51:00.003-05:00

I have muses. Quentin Tarantino has Uma Thurman and I have Kelli, Heather and Jamie. Readers of this site have them to thank for the recent updates. I like to mosey back to their office when I get bored of mine and shoot the proverbial with them. They are newspaper people a fantastic bunch of newspaper people. I go back there to bounce ideas off of them, talk to them about their families, dogs, hunting expeditions.
Despite them recoiling in horror to my analogy, I'm gonna do it.
Jamie is the 'Simon' of the trio. A crotchety dude who in a breath will get excited about one of his many hunting expeditions and in the same breath call me a sell out for enjoying his tale and telling him I'm going to a Kid Rock concert.
Heather gets to be 'Paula Abdul' because she says crazy things. She was just recently brought out of a confectioner's fog by being introduced to No-Bake Cookies.
Kelli while being the complete opposite of Randy, will receive the 'Randy' moniker. She is 5' nothing, slender and white. But, despite her not looking anything like him she stands as the voice of reason for our little forums.

So when readers see some posts in rapid secession think about my muses and thank them if you enjoy the post.

Thanks for reading,

-WP

Great Weekend...Great Friends...Muses....Yonker

2008-02-25T10:02:00.002-05:00

Weekend started off without a focus or plan, until Thursday around noon. I got word the local USO was distributing free Kid Rock tickets and all I needed to do was call. So, call I did and secured two for Mandy and me. Triah, Drewsuf, TJ, Melissa and Casey all jumped on the phone right after me and threw down on the free tix. The show was scheduled to start at 8pm friday and was supposed to be three hours long. 5:30 pm Friday we started the trek to the RBC Center Raleigh, NC to take part in KidFest. Shameless plug for Best Western on Capital Blvd in Raleigh, more specifically; John the Front Desk guy who was gracious enough to move us to a bigger room with two queen-sized beds whilst still maintaining our fantastic $59.99, government/internet rate.
The show was amazing. We had the aforementioned free tickets and the stigma surrounding 'free' is synonymous with 'crappy'. These tickets were perfect. I could've if compelled, literally whip a baseball at Kid Rock. Not to mention we had our own concession area with exclusive access to bathrooms and the pretzel stand. $10 beers...but they were good beers. Sapporo was my beer of choice for this musical adventure and boy was it delicious. Light and flavorful. The show was everything you'd want to be, every Kid Rock Song I wanted to hear was played, including his entire new album:Rock and Roll jesus.
After the three hours of Rocking the Kid we ended up at Perkins for post-concert pancakes. Before I finish this story I'm going to hit on another topic. The restaurant was on a street called Yonkers Road. Yonkers sounds similar to something pertaining to ejaculate. So everything from then on was yonkered on or of or partaining to yonker. So, we ended up at Perkins eating things that reminded us of yonker. The butter was yonker, the runny eggs were yonker, everything was yonker or yonkered.
Thanks for reading.

-WP

I Found a Tremendous Comic

2008-02-19T15:47:00.004-05:00

That I take no credit for this, other than finding it and presenting it to you.

Feeling Smarter, Feeling Ready to be Done With School...

2008-02-19T14:17:00.003-05:00

Also, starting a new job.

School is killing me and I'm losing the battle against academics. Not to be bragadocious but I made the Dean's List last semester and this semester I'm probably going to make the "Why are you even in college"-list. Biology is killing me, Math 070 makes me feel retarded and my online classes are more of an inconvenience than anything. So if I can just make C's across the board and get out of this semester and take the summer off.

Starting a new job working for Grainger selling tools and the like to contractors and people who need tools and the like. It's about as cool as you can get without losing your mind and getting all stressed out. It's a full time job with full bennies and plenty of room for advancement. So I'm jazzed.

Everything with Manders is good. Getting ready for some wedding time in September. That's about it.

Got a New Relationship? Got Some Advice For You....

2008-01-24T21:32:00.001-05:00

Greetings world, I'm back. It's been a minute and now I have returned.

Here's the scene...A group called "Story Corps" (You can find them on the google) is stopping by my town and this is their biz. "Biz" is the term we in the 'business' use to refer to THE 'business'. They pull a shiny, Airstream trailer full of audio recording gear and they take reservations of sorts for people to come into the trailer after they park it in a high-vis area to record themselves. I talked to their marketing and PR folk and they were very nice. They told me the point of this exercise was to record what people are thinking about and talking about in 2008. People can talk about anything. How they are feeling, they can bring a loved one or friend into the booth and they can interview each other. Family can reserve the booth and they can spend their time telling each other how much they mean to them. When the customers are done they are asked to sign a form that allows the Story Corps folks the ability to archive the sound clips in the Library of Congress and they run off a CD copy for the customer so they can send it to friends or archive it for themselves. I got to thinking what I would possibly have to talk about if I were to schedule a block of time for myself to head in there to share a bit of my mind. A couple of thing came to mind: could I come up with something profound enough to help out future generations or could I adlib something to make the future laugh?
Thought all day and I was cleaning up after dinner, with Mandy in the living room watching The Break-Up with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn. Then it hit me. My bit of advice would have to be relationship advice because I'm thinking about them enough to think I have enough insight to dispense something, someone can use.

Here it goes: "Never expect anything from your partner."

Seriously, don't. The instant you start expecting something, you lose and you'll be let down. Instead earn everything you get from you significant other. For example, if I would expect Mandy to cook for me everyday. The first time she doesn't, my feelings would be hurt and our relationship could go from there to over really quick. But, if I'm genuinely thankful for her and her desire to show me love by fixing me some dinner than I'll; one, always be grateful, regardless of the dish-two, I'll treat her tenderly and thank her with words and actions for her sacrifice of time and effort to prepare dinner.

It is important to reciprocate to your other half with words and actions. Words without actions mean nothing. Thankful actions would be me cleaning the kitchen after she cooks dinner as a thank you. But if we 'assigned' jobs to each other it takes the thanks out of our actions. Keep things spontaneous and fresh by throwing each other curve-balls to show each other just how lucky you both are...because honestly...why are you together if you aren't blessed to have each other...WINK***

-WP

Long Overdue...

2007-11-27T08:04:00.000-05:00

So, recap in crazy, montage fashion.

My 45 year-old father had a stroke in his sleep and spent two and a half weeks in the Duke University Medical Center, before coming home. He is recovering nicely and we thank God everyday for that.

My 1995 GTI VR6 is for sale for $5600. Sad to have to sell it but I'm paring down.

Fall semester is almost over and I'm all registered and ready for spring semester.

That's it in a nut shell. More to come. Thanks.

-WP

I Moved. I'm Pleased. I'm Pissed.

2007-11-01T07:01:00.000-05:00

Man, I've had a seriously crazy, last weekend. I moved completely across town to abandon the drug infested neighborhood I used to live in. Now I live near the beach. Also I work on a military base on the east coast and if you know anything about military bases You'd know that tens of thousands of people work on them and they all need to be at work at the same time. Well, because of its military base status, it goes without saying that some measures of security are probably being taken to protect government assets and people. There are usually more than one entrance to a military base though those entrances have limited use. The main gates to military bases are crammed packed with people trying to get to work.
I tell you that to tell you this. I moved so I could take advantage of a lesser used gate and get to work more efficiently. The speed limit on this road is 55 mph. The road is a rural route so an average traveling speed of 60-63 mph. isn't too strange. I get on base and the speed limit maintains its 55-ness. But we've got people driving 45-50 mph. The road is still considered rural, even though it's on base there's nothing around for miles. The kick in the pants is that I always, ALWAYS, I never don't, not get behind them. Today for example; I leave for work, I'm truckin' along and I end up behind two cars who are no-kidding going 45 mph at six-thirty in the morning on a road that is in the middle of NOWHERE. So I passed them going about 65 mph and resumed my commute. Seriously, why? Drive the Speed Limit.

-WP

I am Guilty.

2007-10-30T07:23:00.000-05:00

I'm that guy. That guy who rails against celebrity nonsense and why it's in the forefront of news these days. But I'm guilty because I read a bunch of blogsites who follow celebrities around. www.drunkenstepfather.com, www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com, and egotastic.com are just a few that I'm guilty of checking everyday at work. Lately, nothing much has been going on, Hayden Panettiere was chillin' in Japan, protesting some commercial dolphin killing and Paris Hilton was going to Halloween parties. None of this means anything to me. It doesn't affect my life in the slightest. But, I read it, I think I read it because I enjoy watching beautiful people do their thing. Regardless of what their thing is, they do it beautifully.
I was sure that was the key until the whole "New Britney" started her shenanigans. I call her "New Britney" because "Old Britney" was hot, sexy and desirable. "NB" is kind of a dog, completely saturated with drama.
So at the end of the day, ugly, formerly beautiful people screwing up their lives is usually just as entertaining as beautiful people doing beautiful things.

-WP

Well I'm all Moved and Manders Couldn't be Happier...

2007-10-29T13:33:00.000-05:00

This past weekend was insane. Literally, insane. Our lease was up on our house on the Richlands side of Jacksonville and we're now out in Snead's Ferry. In a sweet-ass little townhouse. Our move wasn't without complications.
I try to be a self-starter, who gets things done. Case in point, I'm a change-my-own-oil'er. I changed the oil on all four of our cars one afternoon while Mandy was at work. Did it by the book, contained all the waste oil in the drum/pan and set it on the side of my house. I guess the ground was uneven and I think my cat, BK Broiler, knocked it over and spilled a good bit of it on the ground. Not being a huge environmentalist I merely moved the drum over and left the spilled oil. The spilled oil subsequently left a nasty, black patch of dead grass. This weekend Mandy was fretting over the dead, black grass on the side of our old house. I eased her mind by telling her, "I'm going to rattle-can that black grass!" She didn't know what it meant to 'rattle-can' something. So, I rephrased, "I'm going to spray-paint that black grass!" So that's what I'm going to do. Rattle-Can my yard in the dead spots.
Also, moving into our new house was a challenge because while the new house has about 100 more square-feet it also has stairs. So, if you can picture this, me and Mandy's little, sawed-off self wrestling our queen-side mattress and box spring up a flight of about 25 stairs. A fun time.

-WP

Alcohol Update: Carolina Pale Ale

2007-10-15T13:26:00.000-05:00

Being a North Carolinian I was pretty excited to check out a local brew. Through Google, I found the Carolina Brewing Company and in turn found out they brew Carolina Pale Ale.

Upon first examination, it has a pleasing dark amber color with a full, creamy head. First drink, not good. Really. Not good.

I love beer. I am a lover of darker beers, but I couldn't choke down a pint of Carolina Pale Ale. I took three drinks and sent it back for a Magic Hat #9.

I was too bitter, with an overbearing aftertaste that wasn't sweet or sour or dry or fruity. It was rancid. I expect a bit of a kick in the aftertaste of a good beer but it should give way to a smooth enjoyable flavor. This unfortunately did not. If anyone has a positive experience with this beer please let me know. I am willing to admit if I've had a bad batch. Anything is possible.

-WP

I'm Looking for Readers...Any Ideas...???

2007-10-02T09:19:00.000-05:00

I've been writing this blog since 2005 and I think I only have five readers, at the most, at this point. I think people would enjoy reading if they knew it existed. I know that sounds a bit presumptuous but I think I'm right on this one. If anyone has any ideas let me know. Thanks and Thanks for Reading.

-WP

Happy Birthday, My Dear Mother....

2007-10-01T07:51:00.001-05:00

My Mum is celebrating her 2nd 25th birthday today...Happy Birthday Mum....I Love You.

If Trailers are Manly. Pulling a Trailer With Your Truck is Manlier...

2007-10-01T07:24:00.000-05:00

My truck as you well know is a 4Runner SR5 4X4. After the unfortunate accident it is now a Toyota truck green with a white hood and fender. Passenger side fender so you can get the whole experience. I tell that tiny snippet, to tell you this much better, more fantastic story.
We've been waiting to get the truck out of the shop so I could hook a trailer up to it and make the trek out to Richlands to fetch our grill.
The day finally came. Manders and I got the truck back about a week or so ago and I first, ventured out to my folks house to pick-up the trailer, then second, went out to Mandy's folks house to fetch the grill.
For those of you, who've never pulled a trailer, I was you before this past Saturday, it's daunting. It's like doubling the length of your vehicle and putting a hinge in the middle. A hinge that causes you to reverse in reverse. Going backwards in a car or truck is a pain anyway, the whole time you are keeping in mind that to go left, turn right and vise versa. With a trailer, if you want to go left, then go left. If you want to go right, go ahead and go. The whole time you are reversing with a trailer you're thinking,"Why the hell am I doing this?" Then you remember that you're doing it because the lock you have on your hitch is for a locker at the gym and could easily be cut and some mangina could very easily make off with your trailer.
So I went and got the grill with the help of Mandy's brother and off I went. Mission successful.
There's something very manly about pulling something with your truck. I'm not sure what it is. I guess it could be the functionality of the truck being put to it's fullest use. Actually the fullest use would have been pulling a trailer down a old dirt road in 4H in the rain with new off-road tires and ZZ Top on the radio.
Speaking of ZZ Top, it's song recommendation time. Just Got Paid is my new driving song. Check it out.

Thanks for reading,

WP

I Know I'm Pretty Much Married, But Seriously...

2007-09-20T07:46:00.000-05:00

I'm crushing on Eva Mendes. I know what's going to happen too, Manders is going to read this and go, "Of course you think Eva Mendes is hot, she looks nothing like me...." Which is so true. But that's why fantasies are fun. It's enjoying something you can't have. Not that you aren't happy with what you have, but sometimes looking is fun.
Also, another relationship breaking tool in now in the area. I got my 4Runner back. After being in the shop for about 6-months it's finally back on the road in all of its off-road capable glory.

    **VR6 Bumper Crush Update**

My buddy who takes Art Appreciation with me is a local GM certified wrench and knows the guy who previously owned the truck and was able to verify that the truck had already been sold to the guy who owns it now when the VR6 got hit.

That's all for now. Thanks for checkin' back.

-WP

...Case Officially Open....We're Gonna Get'em

2007-09-19T09:55:00.000-05:00

Called my local polizia and got connected to a fine Officer of the Law who deals with traffic infractions. I told him the whole story...much like the story that I posted the other day for you fine folks. He listened intently and is opening the case and is following up on leads that i provided him with. So, there we go. That bastard who thought he was that cool that he could get away with running over my VR6. GOT'EM. BADOW! More to come.

-WP

Sit Down, Strap In, It May Get Bumpy....

2007-09-15T17:27:00.000-05:00

OK Bloggites, check yourself before you wreck yourself.

So, a couple weeks ago I left my last class, American History II, and stopped by WallyWankerVille to do some grocery shopping. I parked next to a 13ft-tall early 90's Ford F-150, with huge tires. It was white, much like the VR6 is white. Being a photographer I snapped a shot with my phone to show Manders.
I do my shopping and come out about an hour or two later and that dick less, son of a goat, hit my car with one of his over-sized tires. But the kicker is that he left, no note, no nothing. Gone.
So, like any system loving American I called the local Polizia and a very cordial officer arrived on scene. I filed a report and a APB went out for the truck. The officer assured me that if the truck was around it wouldn't be that hard to spot. Feeling encouraged I asked the officer, "What is the next step?" He said, just wait, if we find the truck we'll bring him in and if you see the truck get the plate number and call it in. Sweet.
Nothing for two or three weeks.
Today, Sept 15, 2007, Manders and I are going to look for a new house when we turn down the street and lo and behold the truck is right there in a guy's driveway. I told myself, as a former Marine, that if I found the guy and he would more than likely be a Marine, I was going to take him from all angles. I was going to find his unit and let them know, I was going to get the State on him for a hit and run and I was going to sic my insurance company on him. So, here's the truck. Manders jumps out of the van and goes to get the plate number. There isn't one. No plate. completely de-registered. So, we knock on the door. A spindly, tattooed white guy comes out.
(My words are in very manly BLACK and his are in a girly-mangina PINK)
"Hey bro," I said, "'Zat yer truck?"
"Yeah," he said.
"Did you happen to hit a small, white VW a couple weeks back in the Walmart parking lot?"
"No, man, why?"
"Because I own a small, white VW and I was hit by your truck a couple weeks back in the Walmart parking lot and the dick less, bastard didn't leave a note or anything."
"It wasn't me, I just bought this truck a week ago."
"Who did you buy it from?"
"I don't know."
"Nice. Well either way, I called the police when it happened and filed a report. I'd be careful driving that truck around, the cops are looking for it."
"Really!?"
"Why would I lie about something like that? I'm out $400 bucks to fix the front of my f*ckin' car. I'm serious."
"Well, I know the guy who sold it to me used to let a bunch of people borrow it."
"I thought you didn't know who you bought it from?"
"I don't."
"Have a nice day. I'm calling the police. Have a good weekend."

I called the polizia from the next street over and a cruiser was sent out and I told him the story and he went and talked to the guy. I should find out what's up in a couple of days. Thanks for reading. I'll keep you all posted.

WP

Community College is easier than Regular College...

2007-09-15T11:46:00.000-05:00

....That's probably why I'm doing so well...

I'm sitting here in my usually haunt, downloading pirated music of off a free hosting software that combines a small green citrusy fruit and something that conducts electricity. I thank you.

I'm really enjoying some Silverchair right now. Really. I Miss You Love and Straight Lines are both awesome songs. Mind-blowing.

I'm officially against the war in Iraq. I haven't really sided on my blogosphere so now I am.
I was thinking the other day, I enlisted in the Marine Corps in November 2002 did my time, including a deployment to the nether region of the world and got out in June 2007. The part that blows me away is that we are still at war. I remember discussing the war in boot camp and how the guys were hoping that it wasn't over before we graduated. How unfortunate is it that the war wasn't over by a long shot.

Having been eight-years old when Desert Shield and Desert Storm were going on, I remember seeing the hordes of Saddam's men surrendering and bowing before our armored brigades as they thundered across Kuwait. I've been to the Death Road in Kuwait, I was there this past summer and there are still remnants of vehicles that have been their from the early 90's.

I recently talked about the war with a new Marine Lieutenant and his take was that of a junior enlisted Marine who just wants to kill people.

I firmly believe that we didn't have enough of a good reason to be in Iraq blowing things up. I think that the evidence pointed so much stronger towards Afghanistan. If we'd sent the awesome might that we sent to Iraq to Afghanistan we'd be done or might have been done a couple years ago.

The Lieutenant who we'll call Guy said that a valid reason to attack Iraq was that 'Horrendous things were being done...'. He is of the school of thought that we as Americans should be World Police because we've done it right and our country is so awesome. Guy missed the part that Iraq is a sovereign nation who if they want to whack all of their people then they'll be a smaller sovereign nation. I think that we should be less interested in the affairs of other nations. It's none of our business if they want to do terrible things to their people. If their people don't like it then fight or leave. We did it. We told Britain to pound sand all of those years ago and we're doing great. If those crappy countries can't rally around a person or ideal to recify a problem then they deserve what they get. Good Riddance.

I'm also concerned about the up coming election and I'm planning on being much more vigilant this election than I have been. Be sure to check back in a couple days when I'll have some fact sheets and run downs of canidates and where I'm leaning. I will admit that I voted for Bush, twice. Not because I love him but because I hated the other party more. I am serious when I say that the country and the world for that matter needs a Bush Break...So I'm off to look at Obama's page...stand by...

Piece Out, Citizens....

WP

Insert biting, regretful comment here....

2007-08-26T13:07:00.000-05:00

Ha Ha just joshin' ya.

So, I know it's been a while. Well, a couple days. Got engaged last weekend to the Amanda H I've been dating for the last 8 months. All of you pitiful non-men who read this and all you shixes who read this listen up because after I tell this tale you aren't going to want anything less than this for you own proposal scenario.

First put on some White Stripes. Because that is what I'm listening to while I write this. The cool thing about the Stripes is there new stuff is just as good as their old stuff and vise versa...Word.

Ok. Down to the Biz, which is what we call 'business' in the Biz. Right.

First buy a ring. I saw buying a ring much like a gladiator of old might have looked at a rack of weapons, pre-fight. To continue with the gladiator analogy, I knew that if I walked into the ring with something too small I'd be killed. If I went in wielding something much too big for myself I knew I'd be killed. So I went shopping/researching. Learned up on some rocks. Got a little wiser about some metals. Decided that gold is WAY too common and rocks are expensive. Especially if they are good rocks. So, I figured that if going to my death anyway, I might as well go out in style. Fity-cent and Jay-z are always hollerin' about Platinum so I figured, "Hell, those cats are getting laid so it must be in the ice...." So, I went Plat, baby, Plat. I settled on a .35 of a carat diamond. I'm of the school of thought that if you are going to lay down the cheddar for a D-rock, I'm going smaller and purer rather than bigger and more flawed. I found a .35 carat D-rock that was one step down from flawless and cost just as much as a flawed 1.0 carat. So purer being better I purchased the .35. Not going to tell you how much I spent but if you must know call me or shoot me an email.

So I get the ring at the beginning of last week and decided that I'm gonna do it that weekend. So, we hang-out Friday night at the In-Lawyers, having a 5 hour, alcohol induced Cranium-fest, me and girl-wonder against her mum and dad. We beat them with time to spare. I decide that Saturday night is the night.

We go out to a wing place in Snead's Ferry that her dad said would undoubtedly give us the loose-poop...yuk...but we go there anyway and I'm sitting there eating onion-rings and wings with my Plat, D-rock in my pocket waiting for the moment. We finish, I pay, were walking out to the VR6, and I open her door, she gets in and I drop to my knee. Toothpick in mouth, her hand in mine and I ask her to marry me. She thought I was joking. I know that because she said "Are you serious?" I pulled out the ring and said "Do I look like I'm joking? Does this look like a joke?" She screamed, literally, screamed. Fortunately she and I were the only ones out there. Because had there been other's they would have thought that I was attacking her. She said yes and now we are officially engaged.

Stop weeping. I know it's a classic, heartwarming tale. I'm sending in the screenplay to MGM. So that's pretty much what's new. Thanks for reading.

-WP

POST 100!

2007-08-13T08:00:00.000-05:00

What better way to commemorate my 100th post than to brag about my fantasy football team. Be on the lookout for Kerosene Douche. They are on the warpath. They don't have any players yet but the name alone causes fear to burn in the hearts of enemies... I'm done. Thanks.

-WP

Goin to Busch Gardens...But Need to Register for College First

2007-08-01T07:03:00.000-05:00

Good Morning and Good Day.

I'm really stoked about starting school again. I've got my registration process in full swing and am a placement test away from signing up for classes. I'm taking it today so hopefully I won't bomb it and end up taking classes that don't count for actual credit and thereby wasting my college money. The plan right now is to finish up my associates at a local community college, then transfer to a four year college to get my degree in Public Relations. Then from there, who knows.
I'm also going to Busch Gardens next weekend and that's going to be a hell of a party. We've been wanting to go all summer and haven't made it until when we go next weekend.

That's about all. Another day in the life.

-WP

Positive Word Time Accompanied by Pellet Rifles

2007-07-31T11:25:00.000-05:00

I like positive word play. People showering each other with witty, kind sayings. Like 'Have Fun', 'Go Gettim', 'Super'.

Encouragement is going down the hole. People are way too negative and pessimistic. I enjoy a person with a positive mental outlook. A go getter mentality. A rock'em, sock'em attitude. We are surrounded by people who are 'closet-happy' and 'blatant-downers'. Always looking at the negative side of things.

On that note I'm sure that by varying ammunition and number of pumps, all of life's problems could be solved with a pump-action air rifle.

1. Stray Animals - .177 Hollow-Point Pellets and about 20-25 pumps
2. Speeders down your street - Standard Steel Ball BB's and about 10-15 pumps @ about 20 or 30 feet.
3. Children - Standard Steel Ball BB's and about 2-5 pumps
4. Aluminum Cans - Shooters Choice on ammo and pumps. **hint** you are going to need less pumps the closer you are to your target.
5. Neighbor Animals - Depending on the size and animal. i.e. Big Dog/Mean Dog: .177 darts can be fun with about 20 pumps. They also come in a variety of colors.

If you are going to go all out and spend a good bit on a rifle, usually they only need one pump for about 1,000 feet per second on a .177 pellet. Also if you are going to invest in a scope, make sure you zero it before using. Nothing is worse that drawing a bead on your target and missing because your scope wasn't properly zeroed.

If you are going to snipe a neighbor, under the cover of darkness or gillie suit, don't aim for the face, eyes, neck, or groin. If you really hate the person then disregard the last 26 words.

Don't drink and shoot. Buzzed shooting is drunk shooting....

-WP

Good Day Blogerica...or Amerilog...

2007-07-31T11:11:00.000-05:00

It's a fine day to be alive. A fine, fine day. I think I'm going to head out of work early today and hit the gym. I've been going to the gym with fantastic regularity and have put on about 4 pounds of muscle in about 3 weeks. So...yeah getting bulky.

My Mandy is enjoying it as am I enjoying, her enjoying it. Words. Words are fun.

I'm at a loss at the moment. I'm trying to make sense of working again. Working a 7:30-4:30. I'm now a drilling reservist in my beloved yet beleaguered Corps. It's a strange time we live in. With the BIG war still going on. I mean, it's going on only so far as we are still sending people over to it. It's not still "Raging", or "raging" in the sense of the Battle of Iwo Jima or Fallujah '04. Raging in more of an occupying force sort of way.
It's funny to hear junior troops talking about 'getting in on the action'. It's funny because the majority of the battles are against getting blown up. You can't really respond to getting blown up with automatic weapon fire. No amount of 'Talking Guns' is going to save you from a car door slicing you in half. So, the rage is mental. The rage is boredom. The rage is feeling like you've missed the party, the keg is spitting foam, and it's nothing but tipsy fat girls hanging out. Seriously I know. I've talked to the guys just getting back. Unfortunately I didn't get to Iraq. I was way too busy evacuating American Citizens from Beirut Lebanon. Sorry for missing the party.

But it's a funny place being surrounded by Marines, who've never gone anywhere. To hear them talk about a 'warrior-mindset' is hilarious. "Keep your mind sharpened like a well maintained razor-blade..." "The scalpel that is your mind should never dull..." Blah. Blah. Blah.

Have fun.

Alcohol Update

2007-07-26T06:47:00.000-05:00

I'm now an official North Carolina Beer Delegate.
http://www.united-nations-of-beer.com/north-carolina-beer-guide.html

Another Update. Welcome.

Harp Lager.

I purchased a sixer the other day and really enjoyed it. It is brewed in Ireland and the first bottle rolled out of the Great Northern Brewery in Dunalk, Ireland in June 1960.

Harp Lager is distributed by the good folks at Guinness, all over the world.

Harp's refreshing taste earned it six gold medals in the famous annual Monde Selection beer tasting competition, making it Northern Ireland's favorite lager. Harp was created by Dr. Herman Muender in 1960 to bring integrity back to the Irish lager industry.

This is a full bodied beer with rich flavors and a slightly bitter aftertaste. A pleasing drink.

That's about all I'm going to throw down about Harp.

Happy Drinking,

WP

DISCLAIMER** This segment is not condoning the misuse of alcohol in any way shape or form. This segment is being weblished for the information and the responsible, enjoyment of fine beverages and in no way liable for any criminal or civil crimes committed by readers of this fine weblog. **DISCLAIMER

Alcohol Update

2007-07-25T07:10:00.000-05:00

I'm starting the Alcohol Update. Welcome.

First order of business is Mississippi Mud, a delicious black and tan beverage from the Matt Brewery in Utica New York.

Here's the commercial description:

"Dating back to 18th century England, the custom of blending pale and dark beers has kept the "Black & Tan" a favorite of experienced beer drinkers for centuries. Our famous recipe combines a robust English Porter with a fine Continental Pilsner, preserving the character of each, while creating the classic taste of the legendary "Black & Tan." In true American style, we bring you the best of both beers as they meet in Mississippi Mud."

It's sold in a great moonshine looking jug with a screw-off top and a vintage looking label.

First visual impression when pouring it is, "This looks just like it should, really dark with a fantastic creamy head."

First tasting impression is, "Rich, Robust, Full, and surprisingly creamy with an uncharacteristically un-bitter aftertaste."

It is a pleasing brew that can be indulged in plentifully with little or no stereotypical repercussions. I drank a quart jug in one sitting and was barely, but coherently buzzed. By one sitting I mean over the course of about 2 hours. So My recommendation is that you all sample this delicious dark brew...

For those of you who may desire more information about this fantastic beverage I encourage you to follow this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_and_Tan

Happy Drinking,

WP

DISCLAIMER** This segment is not condoning the misuse of alcohol in any way shape or form. This segment is being weblished for the information and the responsible, enjoyment of fine beverages and in no way liable for any criminal or civil crimes committed by readers of this fine weblog. **DISCLAIMER

I'm BACK...And better than ever...

2007-07-25T07:05:00.000-05:00

So I'm here, finally with internet access that can support my blog and so I'm blessing you with this offering.

I'm doing my drill time at fantastical Camp Lejeune, NC and thus explaining why I have a good internet connection.

Nothing much is happening in my life right now...still waiting to complete my drills, make some cash and move down to Charlotte. Finish school. Make some cheddar and go back to school.

More to come...yet again...

-WP

I'm Out of The Marine Corps

2007-06-09T16:24:00.000-05:00

I'm out of the Marine Corps. It was a great ride and a blast while it lasted. It's good to me done. Right now I'm still in NC and going to be for the next little bit. I'm due to move from Eastern NC down to Charlotte to attend school. I'm going to be a Volkswagen mechanic at a dealership somewhere, when I get out of school...this is the short version...more to follow....

-Piece Out

Lot's of Mistalking Going on 'Round These Parts

2007-05-16T12:28:00.000-05:00

I've made, notice of many people around me misspeaking. It's not that big of a deal, unless you are talking to Penguins or sleeping hobos. Everyone else, however will have no trouble noting your inability to convey an intelligent thought, using the correct verbage. Just now, before I wrote this I heard the following; "If it's any consequence to you...." Clearly the person meant; "if it's any consolation to you..." Substituting one big 'C' word for another isn't really a good conversation, rule o' thumb.

All over the place people are using the WRONG words. Another fantastic instance; "You and I have excellent communication..." What he meant to say was; "You and I have excellent rapport..." But alas it came out 'communication'.

I know it's a nit-picky topic...but come on...I love the English language because it has a word for everything and sometimes more than one word to say the same thing...WooHoo!

So everyone, needs to take the time to think of the right word as opposed to just blurting out whichever 'huge' word that pops into their puny little brains....

Good Luck and Happy Wording...

-WP

Great New CutDown of the Moment

2007-05-14T06:27:00.002-05:00

"Girning, Sweating, Asshat"

i.e. : "George was always a douche, but that girning, sweating, asshat, never ceases to amaze me."

Helpful Hint:
"girn (gûrn) intr.v. girned, girn·ing, girns Scots
1. To complain in a whining voice.
2. To contort one's face; grimace. "

Have Fun, Drink Black & Tan (Guinness/Yeungling) BADOW!
-WP

A Copy Post from a Great other Blog

2007-05-14T06:27:00.001-05:00

From the dazzling mind of Matt Wilson

http://mw.cracked.com/2007/03/i_wish_i_could_help_you_maam_b.php

Um...hello?
Is...is anyone down there?
Ah, yes, hi. I happened to be standing on the street corner when I glimpsed you walking into this open sewer. I tried to scream to you, "Watch out! You are walking into an open sewer!" but only got out the word "Watch!" before you just tumbled right in. So I just wanted to let you know that I wasn't commenting on the timepiece on your wrist, which I did notice and find very nice. It's a Timex, right?
Hmm, what's that? I can't hear you too well -- I'm trying to avoid sticking my head too far in on account of the smell of human waste, though I'm sure I don't need to tell you that.
Oh, you need help? Well, miss, I'd be more than happy to come down there and get you out from underneath what appears to be several very large dead rats, but I'm afraid I won't be much help. You see, my hands are on fire.
Pardon? Oh, you're wondering how my hands could possibly be on fire and yet I still manage maintain my cool, composed demeanor. "Why aren't you running around and screaming, 'Jesus Christ save me, my hands are on fire!'?", I'm assuming you're asking down there, because, honestly, all I'm hearing is sort of a low rumble.
Well, first off, allow me to say I've never heard that one before! Hahahaha!
But in all seriousness, the condition is genetic. My father's hands were on fire, and his father, and his father before him. But only those three generations. Really, I'm fairly sure my grandfather just pissed off some gypsies at some point, maybe during the war.
So basically, my hands have been on fire my entire life, and I'm more or less used to it. It was pretty excruciating for maybe the first five years or so, but now I barely even notice.
I can tell you're finding this hard to believe. "How did your mother carry to term and give birth to a child whose hands were on fire?" you're probably asking between mouthfuls of what I'm sure is thousands of gallons of fecal matter.
An insightful question.
I'm not exactly sure how the physics of it work, but essentially my hands weren't on fire until the amniotic fluid drained from the birth canal, I shot out of there and they got exposed to some good old American oxygen.
"So if the oxygen in the air keeps your hands from being on fire, why not keep them in sort of vacuum-sealed plastic or just a jar or something?" you're saying down there, as you undoubtedly realize that cushy spot under your left foot is a used tampon deposit.
The funny thing is I tried that a few years ago, and it did pretty much work. My hands were not on fire for a good couple months. But you know, I decided that I've just got to be me, you know, and if my hands are going to be on fire, well, by God, they're just going to have to be on fire.
I think the more important question is how the hell I do my laundry! Hahahahaha!
I ususally pull out and fold my shirts with my teeth, in case you were genuinely wondering that.
Huh? What? I...I actually think I can kind of make out what you're saying. Hmm?
Oh, so what you've actually been saying this whole time is "Help! Shut up about your damn hands and help me!"
Well, I must say that I find that a little hurtful. I think of my hands as what make me me, you know what I'm saying?
Anyway, on the whole help front, you may be happy to know that there are a number of firefighters and emergency workers surrounding me now, which is something that tends to happen when I go out in public, so I'm sure they can give you all the assistance you need if you're still interested in getting your arm out of that crocodile's mouth.
And, just to say again, I wasn't commenting on or making fun of your watch, which now appears to be caught on a big tuft of pubic hair.
Hey! It is a Timex! I can see the Indiglo!
Well, thanks for listening. You know, it's not every day that I can get someone to listen to me ramble on about my hands that just happen to be on fire.
Hey, if you're not doing anything after this, would you like to go grab a cup of coffee or something?
Actually, I can see you've got your hands full with what appears to be a tiger shark. We...we can talk later. I usually hang out in the park right over here and I'm pretty hard to miss. I'm the guy with his hands on fire.
Anyway, see you around.

On the road again...Just can't wait to be on the road again...

2007-05-14T06:27:00.000-05:00

Been on the road...now I'm back.

Went to the "land of the fingery-looking state" or Michigan for you untravelled types. I was there to shoot my friends wedding. Sorry to use an industry 'buzzword'. Before you have visions of me walking into ole' boy's wedding with a sawed -off Remington 870 express magnum, sending slugs into the wedding party and various guests and family members, I say shoot because I'm a photographer. So, recap, no shotgun; "I was there to PHOTOGRAPH my friends wedding. " Better, you goon?

Anyhow, it was a fun time, Nic is a good guy and Krissy is a sweetheart. The only problem was, people rolling in without paying any attention to the proper dress code for a wedding. You've got Local Yokels arriving in untucked shirts, dirty pants, running shoes, socks and sandals. When does it stop? I 'rolled' up into the wedding as the photog, in a $1500 suit, that I own. The only folks that wore something moderately appropriate were the wedding party. They guys however were wearing rented tuxes. The women looked great in their pastel purple dresses.

Also, even thought they are only, what, four states over? They don't carry Yuengling in Michigan. Weird. or possibly Communist. or Both.

So there you have it.

-WP

Cali is the Liberal Left, Hence Dark Side, and is also the Literal Left

2007-05-10T07:44:00.000-05:00

I'm well aware the title has nothing to do with the post, I merely used it because I used it in an email this morning and thought it was witty.

I went to a birthday party last night for my buddy Tony's wife. It was a lovely party, hosted at one of her co-worker's houses. The house was amazing, hardwood floors, beautifully tiled kitchen...etc. We had a grand ole time, cajoling and carrying on. Enjoying a delicious black and tan with Tony, we enjoyed talking about worky type things. Mandy and I commented on how fantastic the food was and how nice the house was.

The problems arose when I made a risque` joke about an inderect compliment I paid Tony, in an effort not to come across like a fag. Unbeknowst to me, our lovely hostess was infact a lesbian. Ouch. I know. Mandy did her best to discreetly tell me, but I wasn't getting it until she gestured over to a picture on the entertainment center of the two of them and their child (Dog).

I honestly felt like a tool. But not in the damn I feel bad kinda way. It was more like the had I known I would have used my one try much better and complimented their carpets or something...ha ha BADOW!

Yeah so there you have it...drink Black& Tan

-WP

2cool4school's song of the week segment...

2007-05-07T06:54:00.002-05:00

Welcome back. hope you all enjoyed last week's session. If you liked last week's song prepare yourself cause this one's even better! don't be fooled by the false ending...once you think it's done keep listening.

Brand New- Jesus Christ enjoy...

...Enjoy

2cool4school's song of the week segment...

2007-05-07T06:54:00.001-05:00

welcome back. hope you all enjoyed last week's session. if you didnt well to bad and you can piss off. but you better like this week's release!

LCD Soundsystem- North American Scum...

...enjoy!

2cool4school's song of the week segment...

2007-05-07T06:54:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my song of the week selection show.

It is here that I will be posting my new favorite song for the week. I will do my best to do this every weekend, leaving you with a new fave for the week. I'll
start it off with this doozy...

Plain White T's- Hey There Delilah

enjoy...

SAG, LAG, or FAG?

2007-05-03T06:17:00.001-05:00

Ok so my fanastic friend Patrick McH and I were having a discussion about looking at people's hind-ends while they are leaning inside of vehicles or where their faces or chests are obscured...

The debate fueled a new movement that I dare say is WetJetting the nation. Here are the main players: Situational Assessment Glance or SAG: this is the cursory glance to determine the gender of the target. Lingering Assesment Glance or LAG: this is the longer more observant, hopefully you've determined the gender of your target and are drinking in the majesty of that particular strangers hind-end. FAG is self explanitory; a FAG is someone who commits a foul and finds himself inadvertently LAG-ing at what turns out to be a guy.

We decided to create this scale of measurment to prevent the ridicule that ultimately is the result of not only LAG-ing, but if you are in a car full of your buddies and you announce that out the right side of the car there is a beautiful rump-end bent into a car and it turns out to be a guy, you can have your dignity. First of all, you have exactly 7 (SEVEN) seconds to determine whether or not it's a guy or girl. This SEVEN seconds is call a SAG. Within that SEVEN seconds, if it is a guy you'd better avert your gaze, for if you continue you turn it into a LAG and are a FAG. If it is a woman you have SEVEN seconds to turn the SAG into a LAG if you fail to do so then you are a FAG.

So apply this simple formula to your ogling and you'll never be called a FAG.

Piece Out,
WP

Alright You Scurvy Dogs...

2007-05-03T06:17:00.000-05:00

Um...yeah that title meant absolutely nothing. But alas and I have returned. I'm still going throught the ringer of trying to get out of the Marine Corps and who'd a thought that it's easier to say forget it and stay in. Really. Getting out is harder than staying in, which is probably why so many people do it.

UPDATE: I'm getting out June 1st. I signed a 6 month lease on a house. I'm going to Community College for that very same 6months. I will be attending the Universal Technical Institute in Mooresville, NC. If the good Lord wills it, I will graduate and move on to a 16 week Volkswagen specific course in Pennslyvania, upon graduating from that particular course I will return to beautiful North Carolina where I will gain employment a local Volkswagen Selling Establishment as a Mechanic. WooHoo.

Also, My Manda and I are still doing great and I have another post brewing that has nothing to do with this so until next time....

Piece Out!

WP

Good Day...HA HA!

2007-03-23T08:06:00.000-05:00

I'm having a wonderful morning. I'm also enjoying a delicious Diet Dr. Pepper, which strangely enough does taste a lot like regular Dr. Pepper.

My morning is going well because, my heavily networked self is doing an amazing amount of outsourcing, so I'm not actually doing a lot of work, but I'm accomplishing a lot of work.

Here's my shameless plug for networking. Do it. It'll save you a lot of heartache, because it's not what you know, it's who you know. Every time. If you've ever been asked, "What do you bring to the table?" The answer is your network. Not Verizon. You're personal network of personal and professional contacts that are your little gateway into getting things done quickly and efficiently. Everyone you meet knows how to do something that you don't, that maybe one day you'll need to. Instead of taking the time to learn how to do it, just take down their number or email and call or write them when you need to get it done. Either they can do it for you or they can walk you through it.

Here's my dilemma, I need about 60 photos printed. 4x6 and 5x7. Instead of sitting in my office all day printing them out one at a time or paying to take them to walmart. I called my buddy who works at a graphics shop and he's going to print them out lickety-split and cut them. So, now i don't have to do anything, just drop them off and pick them up and my work is done....

Three cheers for networking, HOORAY! HOORAY! HOORAY!

Lot's of love, Piece.

Not Much But Kinda Neat...

2007-03-16T09:28:00.000-05:00

So a week ago I got into a wreck. I've been drinking a lot of English Breakfast Tea and hardly ever for breakfast. I've gotten into the Sarah Silverman Program. I miss friends that I can't see everyday. And for those of you who didn't know. I'm an active duty Marine, who's just hit his 90-day mark and can't wait to get out and get back to school. Armed with this knowledge you can probably read some of my past posts and see how I've tried to adapt civilian work situation to describe what's going on in my Big Green Inconvenience.

My wreck was my fault. I rear-ended some guy who thought that turn signals were overrated, so he opted to not use one and I hit him in my 4Runner. So I filed my claim and am waiting for the Gecko to get back to me.

English Breakfast Tea is magic in a tiny glass or a large glass depending on how much Tea you feel, you need in your life right now. Or right then. But, EBT is a great, smooth Tea.

My 90-days is probably the greatest feeling I've ever had. After my deployment and 4 1/2 years of honorable service, it's time to start a new chapter. So, I'm college bound and ready to go back to being a regular dude. Not that the things that I've learned haven't made me a stronger person, because they have. I'm just anxious to re-enter the world I've been protecting for the last almost 5years. More on this to come...I need to go get my 4Runnner rebuilt.

Piece.

A Question For My Bloggites....

2007-03-11T16:34:00.000-05:00

I am adamant about no cursing or bad language on my Blog, but how do you feel about shared sexual escapades? I've got some good stories but I'm not going to do anything about it if you all don't want to hear it. Until then...Love, Piece, and Dildongs...

Flew Across The Country...For a Happy Birthday...

2007-03-04T10:46:00.000-05:00

I'm writing this post from beautiful Fruita, Colorado, visiting Patrick McH and Co. for his son and my nephew's 2nd birthday.

Little kids are crazy especially if you've not seen them for almost a year and the job kept you from seeing their first birthday. I walked into their house and Haiden, toddled up to me and told me he wanted to show me his train set. I wasn't even sure if he rememberd me, but I was soon amazed at how mch growing he's done since I'd last seen him. He's walking, talking a mile a minute and is a wildman.

His birthday is a Sponge Bob Squarepants, extravaganza. I think we should be getting money for all of the advertising potential of Patrick's house right now.

Brittany, Patrick's more attractive half, though barely, bought so much SBSP that I'm sure that it's impossible for any other kids to have a SBSP birthday party until next year. Pinatas, table cloths, wrapping paper, cups, plates, napkins, you name it, we've got it. It's a SBSP explosion.

I'm gonna go eat breakfast, so I'll catch up with you all later...

-WP

The War, The Men, The Resolution...

2007-03-02T10:11:00.000-05:00

The War. The War that's been going on for way too, long. I think that I might offend some people with what I'm about to suggest. But, I promise this isn't going to be a long post, but it will say what I think needs to be said.

I'm declaring Martial Law. I think this war is still going on because we haven't shown the Haj, that we are serious. I think we need to resort to barbaric, vulgar, obscene means of offense.

Including but not limited to purposely killing women and children. I think that when a man has nothing to fight for he will stop. If it's family he's fighting for we'll take his family.

I think we should demolish mosques and deface religious icons. Imprison Muslim clerics and completely remove any desire for them to continue in their backward ways. For if it's religion he's fighting for we'll take his religion.

Perhaps we should deliver total destruction to their lands and structures? Anything that is taller than the ground it's built on will be levelled. It will be an offensive led by bulldozers. For if it's land he fights for, we will take his lands.

I believe the time of calculated military advance is over, I strongly believe we must implement a purely, rage based offensive fueled by the blood of our fallen brethren. All that oppose will meet the wrath of fathers, sons, brothers, husbands, mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends who've been away from the country they love for too long. Brave men and women who are tired of sleeping in the dirt, who are tired of being afraid for their lives and the lives of their fellow countrymen. Men and women who out of a sense of duty volunteered for this noble service and who's service is being taken fore granted and who must needs be brought home into the loving arms of a grateful nation. A nation who because of their sacrifice will continue to thrive and embarrass other countries who've not accomplished a third of what we have, due to a lack of drive and motivation.

I love our country and I love our service members. I love that they are willing to do the impossible to keep our families and values, safe and secure.

Whenever I see a small child I think, that is why our military does, what it does. Our men and women fight our nation's enemies so that our children don't need to worry about anything. So that our kindergartners don't need to worry about roadside bombs, their only concern is what kind of cookies their mother's put in their lunch pail this morning. God Bless them.

I say kill their families to protect ours.

To all my friends and family, May God Bless and Keep You...For These Are Troubled Times In Which We Live...

-WP

Not Such a Great Reception For My Last Post...Fine.

2007-02-28T08:54:00.002-05:00

I try to enrich your lives with meaningful thoughts and witticisms. All I ask in return is a little feedback. I try to give you small, miniscule things to do, that if you do them, it will give your life and ego a little boost. I wouldn't advise you to do them if I hadn't already done them myself. I'm that confident in my abilities as a wisenhiemer and also teacher to guide you in the ways of the Smart-@$$.

I'm waiting for some pleased Bloggite to post on here that after successfully executing one of my suggestions, his/her life feels more productive. I also would like some feedback regarding my readership base. Not that I'm considering, stopping posting, (That was a lot of -ings) but I'd like to get a feel of how many people I'm touching.

So, Feel My Love and Give Me Some.

-WP

Disgusting? Yes. Relevent? I Think So.

2007-02-28T08:54:00.000-05:00

I'm bringing it back. I'm bringing back the courtesy flush. I dislike nothing greater, than when I'm sitting down for a growler and some schmuck next to me, grinds out a nasty and let's the stench just linger there.

How hard is it to drop a log, lift up a bit and flush that offending turd down the crapper? Easy.

I'm thinking that if more people did this we'd have a better bathroom situation. I enjoy my morning constitutional...Some of my best ideas occurred while I was inserting Seal Team Brown. I look forward to getting to work, checking my email, saying hey to a few folks and retreating to the confines of stall two, which happens to be my favorite, and pitchin' a loaf. I wake up in the morning and usually while I'm shaving it will occur to me that I can't wait to get to work and pound one out. But my experience is tainted by inconsiderate 'dumpers' who enjoy their own brand and expect everyone else to enjoy it, too. I find it hard to read my magazine or paper while someone strangers' scent is offending my nostrils.

So I implore you, help me bring back the courtesy flush also it's fun to walk into a bathroom, it doesn't need to be at work it can be anywhere, Walmart is my fav. Walk in and peek under the stalls and if someone is in there, it's your job to exclaim: "Man, It Smells Like Sh*t In HERE!". That is a blast. Really. Try it out.

Have Fun and Happy Bowel Movements...

-WP

I'm Back at Work, Unexcited and Ready to go Home...

2007-02-21T10:11:00.000-05:00

I'm Back. At work and all of the projects that I was hoping would be completed upon my return, haven't been finished. So, I left to go on vacation after working for days, staying late and working hard only to return to work late and too hard.

Nothing is really going on right now on the workfront...I'm biding my time until I can go to lunch and then I'm going to stay at work for a bit then go home...as the week progresses I'm sure that I'm going to have plenty of fantastic stories for you.

Like the one where my bosses leave me with all the work to go on a field-trip to virginia...NICE.

Until Then...

-WP

Hooray! I Went an Entire Weekend Without My Blog...

2007-02-20T09:54:00.000-05:00

The title pretty much says it all...I'm searching for something to write about...I'm going back to work tomorrow so I should have something fantastic to write about...Right On.

-WP